Women Tricking Men Into Getting Them Pregnant 

I remember one day seeing a clip from Wendy Williams’ talk show where a woman wanted to have another child after having one child and her husband promised they would have two, but he changed his mind. Wendy told her to go behind the man’s back and trick him into impregnating her. And, of course, she used the “my body, my choice” mantra to back herself up. I can’t stand to see her give advice on her show anymore after seeing that.

This is one of the reasons why I don’t like the “my body, my choice” mantra. In a lot of cases, women use it to prevent being held responsible and accountable in certain situations they know they are wrong in, such as this one.

I’ve heard many stories, not just this one, of women trying to trick men into getting them pregnant for various reasons and various ways. I’ve heard women trick men into getting them pregnant to get them to stay in relationships and marriages, to put them on child support for money, or to simply control them and they do it by lying about being on birth control (like this woman on Wendy’s show wanted to do), sabotaging condoms by poking holes into them without the man’s knowledge, and using the condom during sex, but later inserting the sperm into herself, amongst other disgusting, evil things.

When it comes to having children, women shouldn’t be the only ones who have a say-so in the matter. A man should have just as much to say as the woman because it takes him for her to get pregnant in the first place. Pregnancy should be something that both the man and the woman should be on the same page about because having a child is a much bigger responsibility than we think and it should take BOTH parents to deal with it and I don’t think a lot of people take it as seriously as they should.

Women tend to forget that men should have an equal say-so when it comes to pregnancy because they feel that since they’re carrying the baby and they give birth to the baby, they should be the only ones to make the decisions about whether or not to have one. It kind of sounds like arrogance to me. The child doesn’t only belong to the woman and the woman never gets pregnant by herself. The child belongs to the man, too. 

Things like this should be illegal and women should be seriously punished for doing something like this. Anybody who thinks this is okay is a very sad and sick individual. And if you have to go behind someone’s back and do something without their knowledge, then you already know that what you’re doing is wrong.

It’s just sad that this society devalues men’s opinions and feelings on pregnancy so much that they allow women to do things like this and even encourage it. 

Tricking men into getting pregnant will open a lot of doors to bad things. It could open doors to trust issues, forced abortions, and abuse (to the woman and the child because a man might be so angry that he will resort to abusing the woman and he might abuse or neglect the child because he didn’t want the child anyway; he shouldn’t do that, but it can happen), amongst other things.

There’s just nothing anybody can say to justify this and make it sound okay and acceptable. It’s not. Any woman who does this or agrees and condones other women to do it should be ashamed!

A Woman Should Never Put Her Hands On A Man

I know this sounds weird because we’re used to hearing it the other way around: “A man should never put his hands on a woman“, but I’m starting to see more and more women hitting men for reasons that don’t have to involve violence at all and justifying it. That has to stop!

I see on television all the time that they make it acceptable, and even funny, for women to hit men. I’ve seen many episodes of the Bernie Mac Show, for example, which featured Jordan getting hit by girls, whether they were his sisters or other girls elsewhere and the situations were always made to look funny. When it’s boys hitting girls or men hitting women, it’s rarely ever made to look funny or acceptable on TV shows. Because they show girls hitting boys in many TV shows and cartoons that are geared towards children or involve children, it proves that the media starts sending this message that it’s okay for women to hit men when they are children.

I get so tired of watching WWE and seeing a woman get away with slapping a man just because he said something she didn’t like or because she has the power to do anything she wants. 

I’ve seen music videos, too, where women were either hitting men or depicting themselves as if they killed a man, like Jhené Aiko’s “The Worst” video or Nicki Minaj’s “Lookin’ Ass Niggas” video, where she’s shooting guns at and around men. There are tons of other TV shows, movies, songs, videos, and many other media sources that send this message that it’s okay for women to hit, throw objects at, use weapons against, and even kill men and get away with it. 

We can’t keep saying, “It’s just TV” or “It’s just a movie” whenever we see these things on screen. We don’t realize exactly how powerful messages from the media are in our society. It’s NOT just a movie! It’s NOT just a TV show! It’s NOT just a video! Whether we want to believe or accept it or not, the media shapes a very great deal of our reality in this society, from the way we think to the way we dress. 

I’m thinking that the reason why it is shown that it’s okay for women to hit men like this in the first place is due to the history of sexism in this country. I believe there was a time where men abused women and because of the belief that women were “not equal” to men at that time, there was nothing women could do or say about it. But now, in recent times, things have changed and women CAN do and say something about men hitting them and probably see it as payback for all the years men have gotten away with doing it.

Another thing I’m thinking is that women want to feel like they are just as strong or stronger than men because of the upheld belief that men are stronger than women. Women want to prove that wrong. Women are always trying to prove that they can do anything a man can do. If they feel that they can hurt a man by hitting him or beat him up in a fight, it can probably prove to them that they are. But if a man hits them back, it probably reminds them that they’re not, which is where the backlash against the man comes from. I’ve even seen women try to provoke or dare men to hit them. That has to stop as well. If a man hitting a woman is wrong, a woman shouldn’t be trying to provoke or dare a man to hit her. I believe women do that because they know that if men actually do hit them back after doing it that it will be the men who get in trouble or get shamed and not them.

Lots of women think that hitting men because they said something out of the way to them or because they cheated on them are justifiable reasons to get away with it. But when it’s the woman saying something out of the way to a man or it’s the woman cheating on the man, the man can’t go and hit her or destroy her property (that’s another thing women do to men and try to justify it). He is told to “just walk away”. Pretty much telling him to “just deal with it”. If men have to “just walk away” in situations like these, women should do so as well. These are not situations that need to be resolved with violence or property destruction. And since she’s an adult, she should be able to handle her emotions MUCH better than that. 

Because of this idea that it’s okay for women to hit men, many of the cases in where the woman is being violent to the man will and have been overlooked and even excused. It is believed that because a man is “stronger” than a woman, he shouldn’t allow her to hit him and should have ways to stop it. If it does happen, then it’s either his fault or he “deserved” it and she was “defending herself”. Men are teased and shamed a lot for getting “beat up by a girl”. They are looked at as “soft” and “weak” if a woman hits them or beats them up. That’s one main reason why we need to stop laughing and making this joke whenever a woman hits a man like it’s funny. It’s NOT funny! And now that I’m thinking about it, that could very well be psychological warfare to make us more complacent with violence against men by women. If we think it’s funny, then we’ll sit back and laugh instead of doing something about it. This upheld belief causes people to not take violence against men by women seriously, which, in turn, causes a lot of cases to go unreported. And unreported cases will make it look like it’s not happening as much or as frequently as it actually is.

We have to stop using this lame excuse that because men are “stronger” than women that it’s okay for women to hit them and get away with it. If we believe men are “stronger” than women, why would we encourage women to fight men anyway? Men being “stronger” than a woman is not a very good reason to justify hitting men at all.

Women shouldn’t hit men unless she is defending herself against men who are physically attacking or trying to harm them. Women shouldn’t hit men and men shouldn’t hit women. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Let’s stop making it one-sided. Instead of saying, “A man should never put his hands on a woman” or “A woman should never put her hands on a man”, let’s say what we were all taught when we first started going to school. And that is, KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF! If we make it one-sided, the other side (in this case, women) will think that the rule doesn’t apply to them. NO ONE should put their hands on ANYONE! Don’t hit someone, then play victim when you get hit back! I’m so sick and tired of people doing that!


The Oversexualization of Women’s Bodies 

Photo: Wikimedia Commons


I often wonder why so many people freak out whenever they see certain female body parts. I notice that many people have a lot to say when a woman is naked or dressed in revealing or tight clothing. I thought about the tribal women of some other countries who are naked or nearly naked most of the time. I feel like a lot of people don’t react to them the same way they react to women who are naked or dressed in revealing clothing here in America. Why is that? What is the difference between those women’s bodies and American women’s bodies? 

I believe so many people freak out about women’s naked bodies today because women’s bodies are extremely sexualized in this society. Many of those tribal women from other countries aren’t portrayed in that same manner. We are constantly bombarded with overly sexualized images of women’s bodies on the daily basis, whether it’s through strip clubs, pornography, magazines, TV shows, movies, or advertisements. They are all around us. Women’s bodies are depicted as something that is only used for sex or sexual satisfaction. So, when someone sees a woman’s body, that’s exactly what they think. They think sex and start freaking out. 

Women’s bodies are even sexualized long before they’re even adults. It starts when they’re little girls. I remember a picture I saw on Twitter where someone was calling out people who were commenting on a picture of Skai Jackson, saying things like, “Where’s her ass?” I’m thinking, she’s thirteen! Why are you worried about her body?! And I’m pretty sure a lot of those derogatory comments about her body were from grown men and that makes it even more disgusting! (Even if they weren’t grown men, that still doesn’t make it any better that her body is still being judged at such a young age.) I also remember looking at comments on Willow Smith’s “Fireball” video featuring Nicki Minaj, where people were wondering “where her curves were” because she was dressed in a body suit, and comparing her body to Nicki Minaj’s and wondering why her body “didn’t look like Nicki’s”. Willow Smith was eleven years old, I believe, at the time. So, not only were people comparing a little girl’s body to a grown woman’s, they compared her to a woman’s body that isn’t even realistic, being that we all know Nicki Minaj’s body has been surgically enhanced. And Nicki Minaj is even oversexualized herself, as we see how she is portayed on a regular basis! I also remember the comments geared towards Maddie Ziegler, the little girl dancing in Sia’s “Chandelier” video. The pedophilic comments coming from grown people just because she was in a body suit utterly disgusted me. Whether they were jokes or not doesn’t matter because even if they were, the fact that people think making pedophilic jokes about children is funny should tell everyone that there is something really wrong with this society! Everything isn’t a joke! Even shows like Toddlers & Tiaras look like they oversexualize little girls. The little girls are wearing makeup and dressed in over the top dresses and put on display for their looks when most of the girls on these shows are barely any older than ten years old. I also remember being in one of my seventh grade classes and the boys were comparing the sizes of the girls’ breasts in the class to the sizes of different fruits. I don’t think any girl in the class were older than thirteen or fourteen years old at the time. There are many other stories like this of people, young and old alike, talking about young girls’ bodies this way. It is disgusting and something should be done about it!

The oversexualization of women’s bodies is so bad that women are even shunned for using their breasts for what they are actually supposed to be used for. How many stories have we heard over the years of women being shamed or kicked out of places for breastfeeding?

All I want to know is, why is this happening? Why is this society so bent on sexualizing women’s bodies to the point where they begin targeting little girls? Why is it still being allowed or accepted, as a matter of fact?

I believe women’s bodies are being sexualized in this manner because this society is built on sexism. Women have been the victims of sexism for many, many centuries. We’re still looking at the residue and after effects of when sexist tensions were at its highest; when women couldn’t work certain jobs, when women couldn’t vote, when women couldn’t make the same wages as men on the same job, etc. We’re still looking at that and it hasn’t gone away.

Because I think the oversexualization of women’s bodies comes from a centuries-long battle with sexism in this society, I believe they’re trying to send a message saying, “Women are good for nothing more than sex and their bodies. And that’s all they should be used for”. And they start sending this message before they’re even teenagers.

A woman’s body is a natural thing and it should be viewed and accepted as such. No one should freak out just because they see a woman naked or dressed in clothes that reveal some skin. We have been conditioned to react to women’s bodies this way. It’s time to break away from that conditioning!

Thick vs. Slim

I’ve seen a lot of posts titled “Thick vs. Slim” all over social media, comparing women with slim bodies to women with “thick” bodies. I don’t like it. In my observations, it seems like not only does it open the door to body shaming women of both sizes (because someone who prefers one size might talk negatively about the other size), it causes a divide because it’s like having men choose which body frame is “better” and can cause women to compete, and maybe look down on each other, for this praise.

It can make women feel insecure about their bodies, no matter what size they are. And it can also make women feel like their bodies are for men to judge and they are not. Women come in many different sizes and they should not be put against each other. 

I remember one picture about “Thick vs. Slim” that stood out to me most on Facebook. The top half of the picture featured thick black women (even though they were more obese than thick because they were well beyond thick) and the bottom half featured white or nonblack slim women.

I found it odd that the thick black women in the picture were way more sexualized than the slim women. They were nearly naked, dressed in very revealing lingerie (at least that what it looked like), and posed over each other in a very seductive manner. The nonblack women were just dressed in half top shirts and short skirts and were not overly sexualized. It looked like a normal picture a group of friends would take with each other.

It looked like the photo was set up like that on purpose to tip the scale further in the thick black women’s favor and looked like the message of the photo was saying the only way big black women can look as good or better than nonblack thin women is if they’re overly sexualized or simply, big black women look better than thin white or nonblack women. I didn’t like the picture at all (I can’t find the picture anymore to share it here. It would be better if I could).

I believe the “Thick vs. Slim” debates should be done away with. Women’s body sizes and shapes should not be put against each other. They should all be celebrated and accepted and it shouldn’t be made into a debate or competition in order to do it. 

My Stance On Abortion 

Abortion is a very old practice that dates back to ancient times. It is the ending of a pregnancy by removing the fetus or embryo from a woman’s body. Abortions can be done with abortion-inducing drugs or surgery. 

Millions of women get abortions every year and for many different reasons. Some including financial, a partner, family member or other people convincing them to get one, bad “timing”, health, already having children, not wanting children at all, and simply not being ready or mature enough, amongst other reasons.

There’s one thing that many of these different reasons have in common. And that thing is they all could’ve been thought of prior to conceiving a child. This is why I am against abortion most of the time. People know what creates a child. They know what their situations and feelings are long ahead of time. They know if they want a child or not. They know what their finances are. They already know if they are mature enough or not. …You get the picture. THEY ALREADY KNOW. When someone already knows something isn’t right for them, yet decides to go through with it anyway, made a poor decision or is just irresponsible.

There are so many different forms of free and natural birth control out here for people to still be having children they don’t want or can’t afford and they are easily accessible. Pregnancy is one of the most avoidable things you can think of. Getting pregnant and then coming up with a reason to terminate the pregnancy later doesn’t make sense to me.

Some of the few abortion instances I actually agree with are the instances where a woman is a victim of incest or rape. I agree with abortion in cases like those because those situations were forced upon her against her will. She didn’t ask to be raped by a family member or some other man. And she certainly wasn’t asking to get pregnant. She didn’t have a say-so in those situations. So, if she chooses to get an abortion in those cases, I can understand.

I can also understand abortion if a woman did use proper birth control, but it failed. Condoms break. Pills and intrauterine devices don’t always work 100% of the time. And an unwanted pregnancy can happen. That is totally understandable.

I can understand health instances, too, where there may be severe complications during pregnancy that force an early pregnancy termination.

However, having consensual sex completely unprotected is a choice and the consequences that come with it are not unknown to anyone (Being “too young” to not know is not an excuse. Many youngsters get the sex ed talk as young as twelve years old, maybe younger).

I remember in one of my high school classes, there was a girl who left the class (for some reason I don’t remember), but left her purse. While she was gone, several other girls went through her purse and pulled things out. (To this very day, I wish I could’ve said or done something to stop it, but I was too afraid to do anything. I don’t remember if the teacher was gone or not. They might’ve been if they weren’t trying to stop it. But anyway…). They found some condoms in her purse and when she came back, they, along with most of the class, laughed and made fun of her for having condoms. These girls were supposedly her “friends”. She handled it well; even laughing along with them. But she said, “Girls are always supposed to have condoms on them.”

And she was right. As many girls that were getting pregnant and talking about abortion in that school, instead of laughing and making jokes, they should’ve been doing what she was doing. 

Women should always have condoms or some other form of birth control on them if they know they are sexually active, but aren’t trying to have kids. This same thing goes for men, too, because it seems like there’s never anyone holding men accountable in these situations and they are just as responsible for a woman getting pregnant at the wrong time as she is herself.

If you don’t want to have a child, either don’t have sex at all until you’re ready to have a child (abstinence) or use the numerous methods of birth control available. It’s time for us as a people to start being more responsible with the decisions we make. That is even more important when it comes to having children! A poor or irresponsible decision in anything negatively affects a child far more than it affects ourselves, whether we notice it or not.

Shaving: Is It Necessary?

 (Photo: Flickr)

Shaving is made to be a really big deal here in America, especially amongst women. I don’t really know much about how it’s viewed in other countries, but I know it’s a very common practice here. This post will be focused on women shaving. Is it as necessary as it is made out to be?

I remember first having the idea of shaving my arms and legs probably when I was about twelve or thirteen years old. I felt so ashamed and disgusted of my body hair. All throughout my teenage years, I saw so many girls with smooth legs and arms and would feel bad because I felt like I was the only girl that haven’t shaved. Of course, I saw the many commercials on television about shaving products that showed women with perfectly smooth legs. I’ve always wanted my legs to look like that. I never wore shorts, skirts, or short sleeved shirts because I was so ashamed of my body hair.

I would ask my mom if she would buy me some razors or if it’s okay for me to shave. She would always tell me, “No. They’re just trying to sell that stuff. You don’t need to shave.” My mom never believed in shaving. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her shave in my life.

Of course, I didn’t believe her whenever she told me that. It was really disappointing when she never got me any razors or let me shave. I thought I had TOO MUCH hair. There is a such thing as TOO MUCH hair, right?

But, one day, I found a disposal razor in the house. It was probably from one of my brothers. My mom was gone to work. I was so happy! I took that razor and shaved my arms and legs. Sure, I had a few cuts because I didn’t have any shaving cream and it was my first time shaving, but it was worth it. I was hairless. I had no more unwanted hair! I’ve been shaving my body since that day.

But as I got older, I realized that my hair would grow back very fast. It seemed like it grew back as soon as I cut it. And, on top of that, my legs are pretty big and since I have a little height on me, they’re quite long, too. And that’s just my legs alone. That’s not even counting the other places I shave. So, shaving my body would take a really long time to do.

I started to feel like taking all this time shaving just wasn’t worth it if it’s going to grow back so fast. But I just knew I still wanted a smooth, hairless body like the women I saw on TV. So, I continued to shave, despite how long it took and how fast it grew back.

A few years ago, I talked to one of my dad’s friends about wanting to shave my legs. She told me, “You don’t need to shave. Your legs are beautiful the way they are. Besides, razors cut you up.” She basically said the same thing my mom said.

This story leads me to today. I recently did some research on women shaving. I wanted to know where it came from and why it is such a big deal here. During my research, I found that shaving wasn’t really a big deal here before the 20th century because women used to wear big dresses that pretty much covered their whole bodies, so people didn’t see women’s body hair very much. But after the 20th century, shorter dresses and skirts were invented. That’s when a lot of shaving companies began to promote smooth bodies and advertise shaving to women. More revealing swimsuits began to be invented as well. At that point, shaving companies began to target women for underarm hair.

So, my mother was right all along. They push all these ads because they ARE trying to sell this stuff! They want women to feel some type of way about their body hair so they can spend billions of dollars on shavers, razors, waxes, depilatories, shaving creams, and many other hair removal products. But something tells me it’s far deeper than advertisers wanting to make money off of making women feel some type of way about their bodies.

Why did they feel the need to target women on their body hair in the first place? Men can have just as much body hair as they want and they’re never made to feel ashamed of it. Of course, shaving companies market to them, too, but it’s like they can choose whether or not to shave and still be accepted by society. Women can’t. Women just either have to shave or be deemed as unattractive.

I never really found a good answer to this question of why women seem to be targeted more for their body hair than men, but it sounds like it comes from sexism and misogyny. I think it’s part of trying to make women feel ashamed of themselves and unequal to men.

Shaving is not necessary. Body hair doesn’t hurt anyone. We have just been conditioned to be disgusted by hair that grows on/in certain places, especially on women. People should not be pressured into shaving, no matter how much body hair they have or where it is. Body hair is completely natural. There’s a reason why it grows back so fast after shaving it. It belongs there!

We should all be free to accept our natural bodies as they are. As a matter of fact, I feel like most women wouldn’t shave at all if they weren’t made to feel ashamed of their body hair—much like men. Women shave because they’ve been told for many years that their body hair is unattractive.