Black Men & Black Women Blaming Each Other For The Problems In Their Community

One growing trend I’m seeing on the Internet more & more is black men and black women blaming each other for the problems in the black community. There are countless social media posts and videos where black men and black women are spewing hate about each other, blaming each other for everything wrong with our race, and getting tons of reactions and views for it.

Black men and black women are blaming each other for the self hate in our communities. Black men say black women are the cause because they’re always wearing straight hair and shame their daughters’ “nappy” hair while doing it and are very quick to straighten it. Black women say black men are the cause because they shame and refuse to date women who don’t straighten their hair and are more attracted to them when they wear weave than their real hair.

Black women say black men shame dark skinned women and refuse to date them. Black men say that black women shamed them for their dark skin and have horrible attitudes towards them, which is why they refuse to date them. And say that black mothers shame their sons by comparing them to their fathers in a very disrespectful manner.

They’re blaming each other for why we don’t have businesses in our communities. Black women say that black men aren’t building and give all of their money to white women. Black men say that black women give all their money to Asians by buying fake hair and nails.

They’re blaming each other for the high single mother rate in the black community. Black men say black women are single mothers because they like thugs and choose poorly in men to have children with. Black women say that it’s because black men are afraid and running away from their responsibilities.

They’re blaming each other for the high crime rate. Black women say it’s because black men are violent and don’t know how to act. Black men say it’s because of black single mothers and how they’re poorly raising young black boys.

There are so many other examples. The sad part about this is that not only are we as black people treating each other as the enemy for our problems and not our true enemies and oppressors, nobody is taking responsibility for these problems. There’s nothing but a bunch of finger pointing. So, what’s going to happen? NOTHING! The problems are going to continue to persist and we will continue blaming each other. It’s not going to do anything but get worst.

Also, we have to be very careful about how we talk about each other publicly. Saying these things about each other and ourselves will leave us wide open to stereotyping. And when it comes time to fight for real justice, our oppressors can use all these things we say about each other against us to deny us the justice we need. For instance, if we get angry about a white person calling a black person a “nigger”, they can use the fact that we call each other and ourselves that against us to get out of trouble. Or if we’re being unfairly treated or abused somewhere and we speak out about it, they will bring up “black on black crime”.

We need to come together, work together to find the root of these problems and fix them ourselves because if we don’t fix them, no one else will.

The fact that we do all this finger pointing is proof that BOTH black men AND black women are doing things to contribute to the problems in the black community. The things that we’re saying that the other side is doing says it all. And one side is NOT more guilty than the other. BOTH sides are EQUALLY guilty.

I really think we do so much negative talking about each other because we hate ourselves and fear our oppressors. I also think we do this because we are frustrated with our problems, but are too afraid to do what we have to do to face and fix them. We take this hate and fear out on each other. We have to stop and start healing.

Amanda Seales: You’re Losing

(Photo: Wikimedia Commons)

“If you’re working a side hustle to support your dream hustle, YOU’RE WINNING.”

“If you’re broadening your mind, even just one book at a time, YOU’RE WINNING.”

“If you’ve realized everything you need for you is within you, YOU’RE WINNING.”

“If you’re buying Jordans and Nike Suits but you DON’T KNOW YOUR CREDIT SCORE, YOU’RE LOSING.”

“If you’re buying Jordans and Nike Suits but you DON’T HAVE A CREDIT CARD, YOU’RE LOSING.”

“If you’re buying Jordans and Nike Suits but you don’t have a PASSPORT, YOU’RE LOSING.”

“If you’re buying Jordans and Nike Suits but you’re sleeping on an air mattress, YOU’RE LOSING.”

I woke up to Amanda Seales trending on Twitter a few days ago. I clicked on her name to see what the fuss was about. Apparently, people were upset because of some tweets she made (referenced above).

People accused her of “judging” poor people. Trying to make it about because she grew up on television, she shouldn’t be able to tell people how to live. (*eye roll*) I’m not so sure why people were so offended. I thought what she was saying was spot on. I think the only reason people were offended was either because of poor comprehension or because they’re guilty of what she’s talking about and it struck a nerve.

I don’t even see where people could’ve gotten that she was talking down about poor people out of those tweets. It kind of disgusted me seeing all the people she had to explain her tweets to. It’s sad that people’s reading, comprehension, and understanding skills are that bad! What’s even sadder is I’m sure a lot of these people are full grown adults!

If you’re buying things like “Jordans and Nike suits” like she said, but you can’t afford to buy a proper mattress, travel, know your credit score, or whatever else is more important to put your money towards to advance yourself, your priorities are screwed up, you have poor money handling habits, and you’re LOSING!

That’s what’s wrong with a lot of us in our society today. We put our money into the wrong things and wonder why we’re not advancing or making much progress. Some of us spend more money on designer clothes than starting a business or side hustle for ourselves. Some of us spend more money on a fancy car, but live in a shack for a home or a horrible neighborhood.

If you can afford to buy “Jordans and Nike suits”, more power to you. If you have money, but don’t want any interest in traveling, that’s okay. But if you can’t afford to buy or invest your money in something important, but you can buy that type of stuff, something isn’t right.

She said something else in another tweet:

“It’s funny how when Jay-Z said all of this ya’ll kneeled at the alter but when I say it it’s (insert hurt feelings & fuckshit here) LOL”

This is spot on, too. So many people are always so quick to side with, praise, and agree when someone like Jay-Z is saying this stuff. But if someone like Amanda Seales says it, people have to find a fault in it. That makes ZERO sense.

Although many people agreed with the things Jay-Z was saying about prosperity over the years and on his album, 4:44 (probably some of the same people who are so offended by Amanda Seales’ tweets), there were some people who treated him just like they’re doing her. I just don’t understand it. I guess people just don’t like being told that they need to do better.

We have to do better with our money in this world. We have to do better for ourselves. Let’s stop being so quick to say somebody’s “judging” you, when in reality, they’re actually telling you advice that can really help you. Where does all this offensiveness about whatever someone says come from, exactly, anyway?

7 Stupid, Annoying Things People Need To STOP Saying & Doing On The Internet 

Photo: Wikimedia Commons

I’m on social media a lot and I see a lot of things on there that people do and say that are really stupid, annoying, and doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. I really hope to see the day when people will stop saying these things. But here are just six of the most stupid, annoying things I’ve seen people doing and saying on social media.

1. “Hop Out My Mentions”

People are always saying this whenever someone replies to a post or comment of theirs, especially if it’s disagreeing with what they say and it’s someone they “don’t know”. If you don’t want anyone responding to your posts, especially people you don’t know, either make your account private or don’t use social media at all. It’s obviously not for you. (I also think people only say this because they can’t rebuttal against the disagreeing comment any other way, so they use it as an easy cop out.)

2. “This Person Sent Me A Friend Request And I Don’t Even Know Them”

If your account is open to the public, this is what will happen. Anybody can see your profile, including people you don’t know and they CAN send you a friend request. They don’t have to “know you” in order to do so. The solution to this is the same as the solution to the previous one: if you don’t want people you don’t know sending you friend requests, either make your account private, don’t use social media at all, or get used to random people sending you friend requests because it’s going to keep happening.

3. “You’re Defending This Person Like You Know Them”

People usually say this after they say something negative about someone, especially a celebrity, and someone else defends this person against their negativity. So, a person can’t defend someone on social media because they “don’t know” them, but it’s okay for you to say anything you want about someone when you don’t know the person any more than they do? If you think with that logic, you shouldn’t be saying anything at all about anyone yourself! You not knowing someone on social media does not give you the right or a pass to say negative things about them. If you want to say something negative about someone, be ready for the backlash. Don’t dish it if you can’t take it!

4. Blocking Someone Because You Or They Disagree

Blocking is really for harassment or offensive content, but I’ve started to notice more and more people blocking other people simply for disagreeing, which, in my opinion, really screws up the true purpose of the block button. Tons of people use social media and they all have differing opinions on different subjects. Not everyone is going to agree with everything you say. If you say something, chances are, there will always be someone who disagrees. Unless they disagree with disrespect, it’s utterly ridiculous to block someone just because you disagree. You shouldn’t even be on social media at all if you’re going to be like that.

5. “S/he’s Not Paying My Bills”

People usually say this after they say something negative about a celebrity to justify what they just said. I feel like, if someone has to say something like this after they say something about someone else, they already know they’re wrong, which is why they need to make a ridiculous justification such as this so they will feel like they’re in the right. Celebrities don’t know you and don’t owe you even the laces off their shoes! It’s stupid to use this as an excuse to get a pass on saying something negative about them or use it to stop a person from defending them against what you said. It kind of sounds like bitterness; like they’re only saying negative things because they don’t have the money that the celebrity has and wants a part of it. That’s what that sounds like to me. Like I said earlier, don’t dish it if you can’t take it! A celebrity doesn’t have to “know you” or “pay your bills” for you or someone else to have an opinion about them. A celebrity doesn’t owe you just because you buy or support things of theirs. If you feel like that, stop buying and supporting their things. This includes illegally downloading their stuff. I’m not sure where this sense of celebrity entitlement comes from, but it really needs to be done away with.

6. “They have more money than you, anyway.”

This is another one people usually say when it comes to celebrities. It’s usually said when someone says something negative about a celebrity or says something about a celebrity that they don’t agree with. So, you need to have just as much money as a celebrity just to have a differing opinion about them? And if you don’t have as much money as a celebrity, the only opinion you can have is if you’re praising them and kissing their behinds or saying nothing at all? Just because they have money??? That sounds like worshipping someone just because they’re rich to me. No one needs to have a certain amount of money just to say something about someone.

7. “My Followers Are So Annoying”

This is probably the dumbest thing people say on social media out of them all because 1) if you can see them on your timeline, that means YOU followed them back! 2) If they’re that annoying, you can easily UNFOLLOW them! It has such a very easy and simple solution that it shouldn’t even need to be said. People say this like they have no control over the people they see on their timelines and like they just magically appear there. If you don’t like someone, UNFOLLOW THEM! I feel like people either just like hearing themselves say this or they’re afraid to unfollow them because their pages will be dry without them (Says a lot more about them than it does their followers).

I feel like people who say and do these things on social media are children because that’s exactly what these things sound like they come from. CHILDREN. (Or old people who don’t understand how social media works.) But sadly enough, they’re most likely from full grown adults who should know better, but don’t. They’re acting like babies! Social media really isn’t for people who say and do things like these and they really ruin the social media experience for everyone else.