Why Are Women Shamed For Getting Pregnant, But Not The Men Who Get Them Pregnant?

“Who made it into [insert year] without getting pregnant?”

I hear other jokes and statements shaming women who get pregnant everywhere all the time, including on social media. As if women get pregnant by themselves. As if pregnancy isn’t a natural part of life. Where does this shaming come from?

I believe that not only is it a form of misogyny and sexism, it is also a scapegoat for men so they won’t have to take responsibility for getting a woman pregnant or the child after birth.

This has to stop because as I have said in another blog post, men are just as responsible for pregnancy as women are. If you don’t want a child, either don’t have sex or use condoms. Don’t shame a woman for getting pregnant when you were just as willing to lay down as she was.

I am against people having children irresponsibly very much; willingly having unprotected sex knowing they aren’t ready for or don’t want children. But we’re not going to sit here and be hypocritical and one-sided and not hold men to the same accountable standard and act like women have to be more responsible in these situations than men. And we’re not going to use irresponsible pregnancy as an excuse to only shame women, either. Both men and women are equally responsible. It takes two to get pregnant!

The shaming of women for getting pregnant is just downright ridiculous and dumb. Let’s start putting men in check about these things.

A Woman Should Never Put Her Hands On A Man

I know this sounds weird because we’re used to hearing it the other way around: “A man should never put his hands on a woman“, but I’m starting to see more and more women hitting men for reasons that don’t have to involve violence at all and justifying it. That has to stop!

I see on television all the time that they make it acceptable, and even funny, for women to hit men. I’ve seen many episodes of the Bernie Mac Show, for example, which featured Jordan getting hit by girls, whether they were his sisters or other girls elsewhere and the situations were always made to look funny. When it’s boys hitting girls or men hitting women, it’s rarely ever made to look funny or acceptable on TV shows. Because they show girls hitting boys in many TV shows and cartoons that are geared towards children or involve children, it proves that the media starts sending this message that it’s okay for women to hit men when they are children.

I get so tired of watching WWE and seeing a woman get away with slapping a man just because he said something she didn’t like or because she has the power to do anything she wants. 

I’ve seen music videos, too, where women were either hitting men or depicting themselves as if they killed a man, like Jhené Aiko’s “The Worst” video or Nicki Minaj’s “Lookin’ Ass Niggas” video, where she’s shooting guns at and around men. There are tons of other TV shows, movies, songs, videos, and many other media sources that send this message that it’s okay for women to hit, throw objects at, use weapons against, and even kill men and get away with it. 

We can’t keep saying, “It’s just TV” or “It’s just a movie” whenever we see these things on screen. We don’t realize exactly how powerful messages from the media are in our society. It’s NOT just a movie! It’s NOT just a TV show! It’s NOT just a video! Whether we want to believe or accept it or not, the media shapes a very great deal of our reality in this society, from the way we think to the way we dress. 

I’m thinking that the reason why it is shown that it’s okay for women to hit men like this in the first place is due to the history of sexism in this country. I believe there was a time where men abused women and because of the belief that women were “not equal” to men at that time, there was nothing women could do or say about it. But now, in recent times, things have changed and women CAN do and say something about men hitting them and probably see it as payback for all the years men have gotten away with doing it.

Another thing I’m thinking is that women want to feel like they are just as strong or stronger than men because of the upheld belief that men are stronger than women. Women want to prove that wrong. Women are always trying to prove that they can do anything a man can do. If they feel that they can hurt a man by hitting him or beat him up in a fight, it can probably prove to them that they are. But if a man hits them back, it probably reminds them that they’re not, which is where the backlash against the man comes from. I’ve even seen women try to provoke or dare men to hit them. That has to stop as well. If a man hitting a woman is wrong, a woman shouldn’t be trying to provoke or dare a man to hit her. I believe women do that because they know that if men actually do hit them back after doing it that it will be the men who get in trouble or get shamed and not them.

Lots of women think that hitting men because they said something out of the way to them or because they cheated on them are justifiable reasons to get away with it. But when it’s the woman saying something out of the way to a man or it’s the woman cheating on the man, the man can’t go and hit her or destroy her property (that’s another thing women do to men and try to justify it). He is told to “just walk away”. Pretty much telling him to “just deal with it”. If men have to “just walk away” in situations like these, women should do so as well. These are not situations that need to be resolved with violence or property destruction. And since she’s an adult, she should be able to handle her emotions MUCH better than that. 

Because of this idea that it’s okay for women to hit men, many of the cases in where the woman is being violent to the man will and have been overlooked and even excused. It is believed that because a man is “stronger” than a woman, he shouldn’t allow her to hit him and should have ways to stop it. If it does happen, then it’s either his fault or he “deserved” it and she was “defending herself”. Men are teased and shamed a lot for getting “beat up by a girl”. They are looked at as “soft” and “weak” if a woman hits them or beats them up. That’s one main reason why we need to stop laughing and making this joke whenever a woman hits a man like it’s funny. It’s NOT funny! And now that I’m thinking about it, that could very well be psychological warfare or some type of mental programming to make us more complacent with violence against men by women. If we think it’s funny, then we’ll sit back and laugh instead of doing something about it. This upheld belief causes people to not take violence against men by women seriously, which, in turn, causes a lot of cases to go unreported. And unreported cases will make it look like it’s not happening as much or as frequently as it actually is.

We have to stop using this lame excuse that because men are “stronger” than women that it’s okay for women to hit them and get away with it. If we believe men are “stronger” than women, why would we encourage women to fight men anyway? Men being “stronger” than a woman is not a very good reason to justify hitting men at all.

Women shouldn’t hit men unless they are defending themselves against men who are physically attacking or trying to harm them. Women shouldn’t hit men and men shouldn’t hit women. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Let’s stop making it one-sided. Instead of saying, “A man should never put his hands on a woman” or “A woman should never put her hands on a man”, let’s say what we were all taught when we first started going to school. And that is, KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF! If we make it one-sided, the other side (in this case, women) will think that the rule doesn’t apply to them. NO ONE should put their hands on ANYONE! Don’t hit someone, then play victim when you get hit back! I’m so sick and tired of people doing that!


The Oversexualization of Women’s Bodies 

Photo: Wikimedia Commons


I often wonder why so many people freak out whenever they see certain female body parts. I notice that many people have a lot to say when a woman is naked or dressed in revealing or tight clothing. I thought about the tribal women of some other countries who are naked or nearly naked most of the time. I feel like a lot of people don’t react to them the same way they react to women who are naked or dressed in revealing clothing here in America. Why is that? What is the difference between those women’s bodies and American women’s bodies? 

I believe so many people freak out about women’s naked bodies today because women’s bodies are extremely sexualized in this society. Many of those tribal women from other countries aren’t portrayed in that same manner. We are constantly bombarded with overly sexualized images of women’s bodies on the daily basis, whether it’s through strip clubs, pornography, magazines, TV shows, movies, or advertisements. They are all around us. Women’s bodies are depicted as something that is only used for sex or sexual satisfaction. So, when someone sees a woman’s body, that’s exactly what they think. They think sex and start freaking out. 

Women’s bodies are even sexualized long before they’re even adults. It starts when they’re little girls. I remember a picture I saw on Twitter where someone was calling out people who were commenting on a picture of Skai Jackson, saying things like, “Where’s her ass?” I’m thinking, she’s thirteen! Why are you worried about her body?! And I’m pretty sure a lot of those derogatory comments about her body were from grown men and that makes it even more disgusting! (Even if they weren’t grown men, that still doesn’t make it any better that her body is still being judged at such a young age.) I also remember looking at comments on Willow Smith’s “Fireball” video featuring Nicki Minaj, where people were wondering “where her curves were” because she was dressed in a body suit, and comparing her body to Nicki Minaj’s and wondering why her body “didn’t look like Nicki’s”. Willow Smith was eleven years old, I believe, at the time. So, not only were people comparing a little girl’s body to a grown woman’s, they compared her to a woman’s body that isn’t even realistic, being that we all know Nicki Minaj’s body has been surgically enhanced. And Nicki Minaj is even oversexualized herself, as we see how she is portayed on a regular basis! I also remember the comments geared towards Maddie Ziegler, the little girl dancing in Sia’s “Chandelier” video. The pedophilic comments coming from grown people just because she was in a body suit utterly disgusted me. Whether they were jokes or not doesn’t matter because even if they were, the fact that people think making pedophilic jokes about children is funny should tell everyone that there is something really wrong with this society! Everything isn’t a joke! Even shows like Toddlers & Tiaras look like they oversexualize little girls. The little girls are wearing makeup and dressed in over the top dresses and put on display for their looks when most of the girls on these shows are barely any older than ten years old. I also remember being in one of my seventh grade classes and the boys were comparing the sizes of the girls’ breasts in the class to the sizes of different fruits. I don’t think any girl in the class were older than thirteen or fourteen years old at the time. There are many other stories like this of people, young and old alike, talking about young girls’ bodies this way. It is disgusting and something should be done about it!

The oversexualization of women’s bodies is so bad that women are even shunned for using their breasts for what they are actually supposed to be used for. How many stories have we heard over the years of women being shamed or kicked out of places for breastfeeding?

All I want to know is, why is this happening? Why is this society so bent on sexualizing women’s bodies to the point where they begin targeting little girls? Why is it still being allowed or accepted, as a matter of fact?

I believe women’s bodies are being sexualized in this manner because this society is built on sexism. Women have been the victims of sexism for many, many centuries. We’re still looking at the residue and after effects of when sexist tensions were at its highest; when women couldn’t work certain jobs, when women couldn’t vote, when women couldn’t make the same wages as men on the same job, etc. We’re still looking at that and it hasn’t gone away.

Because I think the oversexualization of women’s bodies comes from a centuries-long battle with sexism in this society, I believe they’re trying to send a message saying, “Women are good for nothing more than sex and their bodies. And that’s all they should be used for”. And they start sending this message before they’re even teenagers.

A woman’s body is a natural thing and it should be viewed and accepted as such. No one should freak out just because they see a woman naked or dressed in clothes that reveal some skin. We have been conditioned to react to women’s bodies this way. It’s time to break away from that conditioning!