Why Are There So Many Books Telling Women How To Find Good Men, But None Telling Men How To Treat Women?

Photo: Wikimedia Commons

When I first heard about Steve Harvey’s book, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, I was actually excited. I liked Steve Harvey. He’s one of my favorite comedians. I was so set on getting that book and reading what he had to say. I just knew it would be funny and full of wisdom.

But after some thinking and reading, I realized, Hmm…why should a woman have to “think like a man” in order to find a good man? Why can’t she just be herself? How come no one ever tells men to “think like a woman” in order to find a good woman?

At that moment, I realized that there are so many books like this telling women how they should think and act in order to attract and keep men. These books basically tell women that if men don’t respect them, it’s somehow their faults. If men sexually harass or rape them, it’s somehow their faults because of how they were acting or dressing. If men cheat on them, it’s somehow their faults because there must have been something they did to drive him away. Maybe her attitude was bad. Maybe she was nagging too much. Maybe she was giving too much sex or not enough. It’s somehow always the woman’s fault when men are caught doing something they aren’t supposed to do to women.

But when we think on the contrary on the side of men, there aren’t as many books telling men how to treat women at all. There aren’t any books telling men how they should think, dress, and act to attract and keep a woman. There aren’t as many books telling men that women aren’t asking for sexual harassment or rape just because of what she was wearing or how she was acting. There aren’t as many books teaching men self control and that being faithful to a woman is what they’re supposed to do. The things men do to women are usually glossed over or justified.

I believe that these books are nothing but sexist brainwashing. Men don’t want to take responsibility when they cross over women. So, they do and say things like this to put all the blame and pressure on women.

Besides, who is Steve Harvey to tell women how they should be to find a good man? How many wives has he gone through? Didn’t he cheat on one of them? He’s not even the man a woman should want anyway. These are the type of men who are writing these books. Men who cheat on women and don’t treat women very well themselves telling women that it’s them. That’s why they write them. They know the problem is themselves, but they don’t want to accept it.

I highly advise women to never read these types of relationship books. They don’t have women’s best interests in mind and they are all used to keep men from being held accountable for how they treat women and make women think it’s all because of them if men mistreat them.

There are tons of women who do exactly what all these books “advise” them to do and men still have a way to disrespect, cheat on, harass or rape them. That’s why women are always surprised when an extremely beautiful woman or a woman who is supposedly good at sex or has everything men claim they want in a woman still gets cheated on or involved in a bad relationship/marriage.

It’s time we start admitting that it’s not always the woman’s fault when these things happen. Men choose to do these things to women and blame women for it when it gets done.

Respect, trust, and how you treat others is and should be a two way street. There should never be anyone saying one side is more accountable for doing things that warrants respect than the other. If women have to be and act a certain way for them to keep men and gain respect from them, then men should be held accountable to do the same.

The fact that we still have to have conversations like this is proof that sexism is still a huge problem here and we still have a long way to go in fixing it. I find it very sad.

NO! Women DON’T Get Passes For Cheating!

“Women should get a pass for cheating.”

I hear this very often whenever a woman is caught cheating. Lots of people, mostly women, would defend the cheating and say women should get passes for it. They usually say this because they claim that men “cheat more than women” or they “do worst things to women”, so it shouldn’t matter if women cheat on them.

Not only is this B.S., it’s also just a way for women to save face when they get caught cheating. Justifying it by throwing men under the bus. Making men look like the bad guys when they’re the ones doing wrong.

Everyone knows cheating is wrong. And everyone knows men get dragged into oblivion when it’s found out that he cheated on a woman. They are identified as dogs, punks, bitches, whatever negative name you can think of.

But women don’t want to deal with that type of backlash when they get caught cheating. They hate when men call them bitches and whores when they get caught cheating, despite how many names they call men for cheating. They want to always look like the good, loyal ones in relationships. If they’re caught cheating, they won’t be able to look like that. So, they come up with stuff like this in order to keep it.

Also, this would make it easier for women to cheat. If everyone thinks men are the worst cheaters, so much to the point where they think women should get a pass when they’re caught, no one would suspect them for cheating.

What bothers me most about this is that sometimes, when the conversation about women cheating is brought up, some people, usually women, like to say that women are “smarter” cheaters than men because they are better at “covering it up”. I remember a conversation way back when I was in middle school where the class was talking about how Shaq’s wife was “smart” for cheating on him with a personal trainer because of the money she would get out of it.

No one ever calls a man smart for cheating on a woman! If a man cheated on a woman to get money out of her or cheated on her for a long time without her finding out, the last thing he will be called is smart!

I feel like that’s just another way for women to soften up their cheating.

I believe this is why I hear so many women defending and encouraging revenge cheating as well. Because even though it’s a waste of time and makes absolutely no sense, it gives women the excuse to cheat while still looking like the innocent ones. They wait for their partner/spouse to cheat first, then they go do it. If she’s cheating because her partner/spouse is cheating on her, she gets a pass! Everyone will sympathize with her.

Cheating is cheating, whether it’s done by a man or woman. NO ONE should get a pass for it. It doesn’t matter if other people are cheating on their partners or if one of their partners cheat on them. There’s NEVER an excuse for cheating! When women cheat, they are the same lying, cheating, unappreciative, backstabbing person they claim men are when men cheat.

This hypocrisy has to stop!

Revenge Cheating Is A Waste Of Time

Photo: Flickr

Many people, especially women, think that the best way to deal with someone cheating on them is to cheat on them back. But I feel that not only is that stupid, it’s a serious waste of your time. I know cheating hurts, especially if it’s from someone you truly loved and cared about and never did anything wrong to them, but the best way to deal with that is to either forgive them (if you want to take them back and continue the relationship and try to fix it) or leave and find someone that will be faithful to you and give you the love you deserve.

“Revenge cheating” is stupid and a waste of time because if you do take this person back that cheated on you just to cheat on them, you shouldn’t have taken them back. When you take someone back after doing you wrong, it’s supposed to mean that you forgive them and want to give them another chance. Taking someone back to “revenge cheat” on them won’t solve anything. It’ll just create an endless cycle of cheating because you’ll be cheating on them and they’ll be cheating on you. And seriously, what’s the point in staying in a relationship that’s like that in the first place? That relationship is already dead and clearly neither one of you are trying to get together and fix it. Why are you still there?

And if you can find someone to go cheat on someone with for “revenge”, you’re clearly with someone who also doesn’t really care about you because if they did, you would actually be in a relationship with them or leave the cheater for that person, not just be with them for sex.

And if you go into a new relationship and cheat on that person when they did nothing to you just because the other person cheated on you is even dumber. In your head, you think you’re hurting the person who cheated on you and hurt you by doing that, but in reality, you are only hurting yourself and you’re trying to rid yourself of that hurt by sleeping with other people and all you’re doing is ruining a relationship that was just fine.

I saw an episode of Steve Wilkos years ago where there was a couple on there and the woman said something along the lines of, “I’m the type that if you cheat on me, I will cheat on you a lot.” And the woman went on to tell the story about how her man cheated on her and because of that, she went and slept with numerous men. They continued to stay together, but all they were doing was cheating on each other the whole time. Like, really, how does this make ANY type of sense?!

That segment is what made me think of this post because, sadly, people really think this is a justifiable way of dealing with cheating and relationship problems when all it’s doing is making things worst!

There is absolutely NO excuse for cheating. NONE AT ALL! This is why when people try to explain it and soften it up, it never makes sense. Cheating is wrong, whether it’s for revenge or simply just you not being able to control your urges and function properly for a relationship. If your relationship is at the point where you feel like cheating is the answer, you need to end that relationship and FAST!