Black Men & Black Women Blaming Each Other For The Problems In Their Community

One growing trend I’m seeing on the Internet more & more is black men and black women blaming each other for the problems in the black community. There are countless social media posts and videos where black men and black women are spewing hate about each other, blaming each other for everything wrong with our race, and getting tons of reactions and views for it.

Black men and black women are blaming each other for the self hate in our communities. Black men say black women are the cause because they’re always wearing straight hair and shame their daughters’ “nappy” hair while doing it and are very quick to straighten it. Black women say black men are the cause because they shame and refuse to date women who don’t straighten their hair and are more attracted to them when they wear weave than their real hair.

Black women say black men shame dark skinned women and refuse to date them. Black men say that black women shamed them for their dark skin and have horrible attitudes towards them, which is why they refuse to date them. And say that black mothers shame their sons by comparing them to their fathers in a very disrespectful manner.

They’re blaming each other for why we don’t have businesses in our communities. Black women say that black men aren’t building and give all of their money to white women. Black men say that black women give all their money to Asians by buying fake hair and nails.

They’re blaming each other for the high single mother rate in the black community. Black men say black women are single mothers because they like thugs and choose poorly in men to have children with. Black women say that it’s because black men are afraid and running away from their responsibilities.

They’re blaming each other for the high crime rate. Black women say it’s because black men are violent and don’t know how to act. Black men say it’s because of black single mothers and how they’re poorly raising young black boys.

There are so many other examples. The sad part about this is that not only are we as black people treating each other as the enemy for our problems and not our true enemies and oppressors, nobody is taking responsibility for these problems. There’s nothing but a bunch of finger pointing. So, what’s going to happen? NOTHING! The problems are going to continue to persist and we will continue blaming each other. It’s not going to do anything but get worst.

Also, we have to be very careful about how we talk about each other publicly. Saying these things about each other and ourselves will leave us wide open to stereotyping. And when it comes time to fight for real justice, our oppressors can use all these things we say about each other against us to deny us the justice we need. For instance, if we get angry about a white person calling a black person a “nigger”, they can use the fact that we call each other and ourselves that against us to get out of trouble. Or if we’re being unfairly treated or abused somewhere and we speak out about it, they will bring up “black on black crime”.

We need to come together, work together to find the root of these problems and fix them ourselves because if we don’t fix them, no one else will.

The fact that we do all this finger pointing is proof that BOTH black men AND black women are doing things to contribute to the problems in the black community. The things that we’re saying that the other side is doing says it all. And one side is NOT more guilty than the other. BOTH sides are EQUALLY guilty.

I really think we do so much negative talking about each other because we hate ourselves and fear our oppressors. I also think we do this because we are frustrated with our problems, but are too afraid to do what we have to do to face and fix them. We take this hate and fear out on each other. We have to stop and start healing.

Why Black People Don’t Like The “All Lives Matter” Response

(Photo: Flickr)

The Black Lives Matter movement was started in 2012, after the murder of Trayvon Martin. His murderer, George Zimmerman, was acquitted of the crime and was able to walk free. Martin was an unarmed 17 year old. It is believed that because Martin was a teen and unarmed that the situation could’ve been handled much differently. Killing an unarmed teenager was deemed as excessive force, especially since Zimmerman wasn’t even an officer. He was just a neighborhood watch captain. 

Years after that, many other murders of black people by police that were deemed as unjust were caught on camera, including Mike Brown, Alton Sterling, Tamir Rice, Philando Castile, Sandra Bland, and Korryn Gaines, to name a few.

Black Lives Matter was started because it seems like this society doesn’t seem to care about the lives of black people and treat us very unfairly in the justice system compared to other groups of people, especially white people. Not very long after it was started, it got spun into a huge negative and caused a lot of controversy. The response to it was, “All lives matter”.

Black people are upset at this because it is taking away from the plight we are fighting for. Black Lives Matter does not mean that only black people’s lives matter or black people’s lives matter more than other people’s lives. Apparently, that’s what people think Black Lives Matter is, which is why they are responding like this. People also think Black Lives Matter means “anti-police”. That’s not what it means, either. What it means is black people’s lives matter, TOO; our lives are just as important as other people’s lives and we should be treated like it.

Hearing other black people, especially high profile black people, such as celebrities and politicians, saying “All lives matter” is even worst than a white or any other nonblack person saying it because other black people should be the main ones to know why Black Lives Matter was started and what its purpose is. It’s a little more understandable hearing it from nonblacks than other blacks. Hearing other black people say, “All lives matter” is majorly disappointing.

Saying “All lives matter” as a response to Black Lives Matter is pointless and just looks like a deflection. And why is it that “All lives matter” is a response to Black Lives Matter, but Blue Lives Matter was started to fight for the plight of law enforcement? If “All lives matter”, why do we need Blue Lives Matter? How come no one is telling them that “all lives matter”?

The fact that Blue Lives Matter was created to shed light on the injustices done against law enforcement shows that everyone knows why the Black Lives Matter movement was started. They know what we’re speaking out against. People just don’t want to address it and feel uncomfortable at the thought of addressing it. Everyone else is just trying to, not only deflect and sweep our issues under the rug, but also piggyback off of our movement and plights for our people.

When we’re trying to fight for justice and equality for our people, other groups of people playing off of and latching onto our movements makes our plight look like it’s not important or that other groups of people’s plights should be addressed and handled before ours.

When Black Lives Matter was created, it wasn’t to cause a divide and create hate. It was just to ask for justice and equality. That’s all we want.