Why Are Women Pressured To Wait For Sex, But Men Aren’t?

I remember a conversation my class had back when I was going to high school. A boy said it’s okay for a girl to wait for sex, but if a boy hasn’t had sex by 16 he’s gay. It was such a ridiculous statement because what if every girl actually did wait to have sex? Who would boys have sex with? Other boys? Animals? Sometimes, people don’t realize how ridiculous they sound when they say certain things, especially when they’re so quick to label someome as gay for it.

I remember a post I saw on Facebook of a woman completely fully clothed. No arms showing. No legs showing. I believe even her hair was covered, too. She was dressed in what looked like a long denim dress. The picture was captioned, “You can still be sexy fully clothed”. I like the message of the photo because sometimes, women don’t feel attractive unless they’re dressed very skimpy. But at the same time, it looked weird seeing her with all those clothes on. To me, she looked like she had a disease and they were trying to cover her so it wouldn’t spread! (I know that probably sounds like an exaggeration, but that’s exactly what I felt like what she looked like dressed like that.) It made me think that something was very wrong about how men view women in this society.

I also think about the many television shows and movies I have seen where a girl’s parents or some other male authority figure in the show is breathing down her back about not having sex and trying their best to keep as many boys away from her as possible. But on the same shows and movies, those people are not as hard on the boys about having sex and actually encourage them to get girlfriends at really young ages.

Why is this? Why does this society put so much pressure on women about sex, telling them what age is appropriate for them to have sex, what clothes are appropriate for them to wear, etc., but boys are encouraged to be involved with girls and have sex at really young ages? What does this society have against women and sex? Where does this stigma come from?

Many sources say that girls and women should wait for sex because it can bring about unwanted pregnancies or they can get pregnant by a man who will step out on her and their child. There’s also sources that tell girls and women to wait for sex because of sexually transmitted diseases.

I completely agree with waiting on having sex to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases and to prevent unwanted pregnancies or avoid getting pregnant by a boy or man who will step away from his job as a father. However, I feel like boys and men aren’t told to wait for sex to avoid getting girls and women pregnant at the wrong time or to protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases like girls and women are. Although there’s a little truth in telling women to wait to prevent pregnancies and STDs, I also feel like they’re nothing more than shaming and scare tactics that this society uses to try to control female sexuality.

I feel that men fear and are intimidated by female sexuality. I feel that is the reason why they try so hard to suppress it. I believe they are afraid and intimidated because they feel that women can have a lot of power over them through sex and their sexuality. They try to hide this by pushing the idea that they are superior to women and tell the world it’s okay for them to be with as many women as they want and get praised for it, but if a woman is with more than one man, she’s a “hoe”, “slut”, “bitch”, you name it!

I believe men are happy when they are with multiple women because it makes them feel they have all the sexual power and control, but when a woman has multiple men, it threatens their sexual power and control.

I feel that men tell women to wait for sex and dress so covered up that she shows no skin at all because they are happier and less intimidated with the idea that she’s not having sex (unless it’s with them) and is fully clothed.

There’s an article I found on Huffpost that I will link in this post that mentioned a few theories about why men are so afraid of female sexuality. It said this fear could be hardwired into men because just like in the animal kingdom, men want to perpetuate his own genes. If women are too sexual, they probably won’t be able to do that because she would’ve more than likely been with other men.

Another thing it brought up is that men are afraid of women being unfaithful to them because of the shame that comes with it from society, so they do everything they can to prevent it.

But I believe those theories the least. I believe most all that it has to do with the male ego & men trying to control female sexuality. This could be a lot deeper than what anyone thinks.

https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/1289564

Is Money Really The Root Of All Evil?

I’ve heard the old saying that money is the root of all evil all my life. In a way, I kind of think it is and isn’t. For starters, I think it isn’t because it is what people do for money that makes it evil. The love of money and greed is what’s evil.

People are willing to lie, cheat, steal, kill innocent people or even children for money. People sell out their own family members and friends for money. People are willing to compromise their self respect and do unethical things or things they wouldn’t normally do for money. People even look down on other people who don’t have as much money.

Lots of people let money change and control them. It makes them arrogant and maybe even stupid in a lot of ways.

On the flipside, it is because having little to no money causes a lot of stress and pain to a lot of people because they can’t afford to pay for the basic things they need to live; clothes, food, houses, bills, maybe a car to get to wherever they want to go, take care of their children or other people they have to take care of, etc.

Not having money causes people to become very depressed, stressed, and even suicidal. And it can cause them to do bad things out of desperation.

In a lot of ways, I believe money was invented for control and power. I know there’s someone or maybe even numerous people who want to control mass amounts of people and control what they do and how they live and money is a great way to do that.

I believe that there is no use for money in the world because everything was created just for us for free and we fight and kill ourselves and each other for things that we should all be free to have. No one should have the right to put a price on something they don’t own and didn’t create themselves.

But then again, I’ve read from different sources about why money was created. One thing I read said it was to compensate for the shortcomings of the barter system. Before there was money, people traded for what they wanted and sometimes, people didn’t always agree with what someone wanted to trade them. And if someone didn’t agree with what someone else wanted to trade them, they wouldn’t be able to get what they needed or wanted.

But what about the shortcomings of the monetary system where people can’t afford to buy certain things?

Another said that money was created to ration out things better. If everything was free, people would consume things very quickly due to greed and self-centeredness and there would be a scarcity in many things.

And another said money was created to motivate people to do work. If there was no money, people wouldn’t put in the effort or put in very little to do certain things. People wouldn’t want to build or anything. With money, people have a reason to get things done, thus creating a productive society.

Although I do believe these other reasons make a lot of sense, I still believe that money was created for control and power most of all. People have wanted to have power and control over other people for ages.

I don’t think money is really supposed to exist, which is why it causes so much evil and problems. Money has no real value. It isn’t really backed by anything. It only has value because the government says so.

Should The Size of An Engagement/Wedding Ring Matter?

Photo: Wikimedia Commons

I remember we were talking about the sizes of wedding rings in one of my classes when I was in middle school. The rest of the class were saying the size of a wedding ring does matter and you shouldn’t have a small ring. The teacher didn’t agree. They eventually turned to me and asked me my opinion on whether it matters. I said it didn’t. The whole class disagreed and asked me why (Now that I’m thinking about it, I think many of them disagreed only because I said it didn’t matter. Many of my classmates in middle school disagreed with me a lot because they loved the idea of me being wrong about something, being that I was considered the “smart” one). I didn’t really know why it didn’t matter. I just felt like it didn’t matter. So I just said, “Well, because the ring doesn’t matter.”

The teacher was very happy that we shared the same opinion on it, but the class was in total disagreement. They thought that the bigger the ring, the better it is. Now that I look back on this story, I do wonder why the size of rings matter and do they actually matter. 

After some thinking, I think I still hold the same opinion that ring size doesn’t matter, but now, I can explain why, unlike when I was in middle school. The size of an engagement/wedding ring doesn’t matter because what should really matter is that person’s love for you. 

I believe the only reason we believe engagement/wedding ring sizes matter is because we are a very materialistic and “keeping-up-with-the-Jones’s” society. We love showing off and giving value to materialistic things that don’t have any real value just to impress other people.

And now that I’m thinking about it, I do agree with my middle school mindset also that the ring itself doesn’t really matter, either. A ring doesn’t really express someone’s feelings about another person. Even though having a ring is nice, it doesn’t really represent feelings at all. Love is something that can’t be fully expressed with physical, material things because it’s not physical or material. Just because you have or don’t have a ring doesn’t mean a person loves or cares about you less. A ring being big or small doesn’t mean that, either. A person’s actions towards someone else and how they treat them is what really shows someone’s love for another person, not what they can buy.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having an engagement/wedding ring. I just think this society puts more value to it than it needs to have and not enough value into what actually does matter.

Shaving: Is It Necessary?

 (Photo: Flickr)

Shaving is made to be a really big deal here in America, especially amongst women. I don’t really know much about how it’s viewed in other countries, but I know it’s a very common practice here. This post will be focused on women shaving. Is it as necessary as it is made out to be?

I remember first having the idea of shaving my arms and legs probably when I was about twelve or thirteen years old. I felt so ashamed and disgusted of my body hair. All throughout my teenage years, I saw so many girls with smooth legs and arms and would feel bad because I felt like I was the only girl that haven’t shaved. Of course, I saw the many commercials on television about shaving products that showed women with perfectly smooth legs. I’ve always wanted my legs to look like that. I never wore shorts, skirts, or short sleeved shirts because I was so ashamed of my body hair.

I would ask my mom if she would buy me some razors or if it’s okay for me to shave. She would always tell me, “No. They’re just trying to sell that stuff. You don’t need to shave.” My mom never believed in shaving. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her shave in my life.

Of course, I didn’t believe her whenever she told me that. It was really disappointing when she never got me any razors or let me shave. I thought I had TOO MUCH hair. There is a such thing as TOO MUCH hair, right?

But, one day, I found a disposal razor in the house. It was probably from one of my brothers. My mom was gone to work. I was so happy! I took that razor and shaved my arms and legs. Sure, I had a few cuts because I didn’t have any shaving cream and it was my first time shaving, but it was worth it. I was hairless. I had no more unwanted hair! I’ve been shaving my body since that day.

But as I got older, I realized that my hair would grow back very fast. It seemed like it grew back as soon as I cut it. And, on top of that, my legs are pretty big and since I have a little height on me, they’re quite long, too. And that’s just my legs alone. That’s not even counting the other places I shave. So, shaving my body would take a really long time to do.

I started to feel like taking all this time shaving just wasn’t worth it if it’s going to grow back so fast. But I just knew I still wanted a smooth, hairless body like the women I saw on TV. So, I continued to shave, despite how long it took and how fast it grew back.

A few years ago, I talked to one of my dad’s friends about wanting to shave my legs. She told me, “You don’t need to shave. Your legs are beautiful the way they are. Besides, razors cut you up.” She basically said the same thing my mom said.

This story leads me to today. I recently did some research on women shaving. I wanted to know where it came from and why it is such a big deal here. During my research, I found that shaving wasn’t really a big deal here before the 20th century because women used to wear big dresses that pretty much covered their whole bodies, so people didn’t see women’s body hair very much. But after the 20th century, shorter dresses and skirts were invented. That’s when a lot of shaving companies began to promote smooth bodies and advertise shaving to women. More revealing swimsuits began to be invented as well. At that point, shaving companies began to target women for underarm hair.

So, my mother was right all along. They push all these ads because they ARE trying to sell this stuff! They want women to feel some type of way about their body hair so they can spend billions of dollars on shavers, razors, waxes, depilatories, shaving creams, and many other hair removal products. But something tells me it’s far deeper than advertisers wanting to make money off of making women feel some type of way about their bodies.

Why did they feel the need to target women on their body hair in the first place? Men can have just as much body hair as they want and they’re never made to feel ashamed of it. Of course, shaving companies market to them, too, but it’s like they can choose whether or not to shave and still be accepted by society. Women can’t. Women just either have to shave or be deemed as unattractive.

I never really found a good answer to this question of why women seem to be targeted more for their body hair than men, but it sounds like it comes from sexism and misogyny. I think it’s part of trying to make women feel ashamed of themselves and unequal to men.

Shaving is not necessary. Body hair doesn’t hurt anyone. We have just been conditioned to be disgusted by hair that grows on/in certain places, especially on women. People should not be pressured into shaving, no matter how much body hair they have or where it is. Body hair is completely natural. There’s a reason why it grows back so fast after shaving it. It belongs there!

We should all be free to accept our natural bodies as they are. As a matter of fact, I feel like most women wouldn’t shave at all if they weren’t made to feel ashamed of their body hair—much like men. Women shave because they’ve been told for many years that their body hair is unattractive.