Why Are Women Pressured To Wait For Sex, But Men Aren’t?

I remember a conversation my class had back when I was going to high school. A boy said it’s okay for a girl to wait for sex, but if a boy hasn’t had sex by 16 he’s gay. It was such a ridiculous statement because what if every girl actually did wait to have sex? Who would boys have sex with? Other boys? Animals? Sometimes, people don’t realize how ridiculous they sound when they say certain things, especially when they’re so quick to label someome as gay for it.

I remember a post I saw on Facebook of a woman completely fully clothed. No arms showing. No legs showing. I believe even her hair was covered, too. She was dressed in what looked like a long denim dress. The picture was captioned, “You can still be sexy fully clothed”. I like the message of the photo because sometimes, women don’t feel attractive unless they’re dressed very skimpy. But at the same time, it looked weird seeing her with all those clothes on. To me, she looked like she had a disease and they were trying to cover her so it wouldn’t spread! (I know that probably sounds like an exaggeration, but that’s exactly what I felt like what she looked like dressed like that.) It made me think that something was very wrong about how men view women in this society.

I also think about the many television shows and movies I have seen where a girl’s parents or some other male authority figure in the show is breathing down her back about not having sex and trying their best to keep as many boys away from her as possible. But on the same shows and movies, those people are not as hard on the boys about having sex and actually encourage them to get girlfriends at really young ages.

Why is this? Why does this society put so much pressure on women about sex, telling them what age is appropriate for them to have sex, what clothes are appropriate for them to wear, etc., but boys are encouraged to be involved with girls and have sex at really young ages? What does this society have against women and sex? Where does this stigma come from?

Many sources say that girls and women should wait for sex because it can bring about unwanted pregnancies or they can get pregnant by a man who will step out on her and their child. There’s also sources that tell girls and women to wait for sex because of sexually transmitted diseases.

I completely agree with waiting on having sex to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases and to prevent unwanted pregnancies or avoid getting pregnant by a boy or man who will step away from his job as a father. However, I feel like boys and men aren’t told to wait for sex to avoid getting girls and women pregnant at the wrong time or to protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases like girls and women are. Although there’s a little truth in telling women to wait to prevent pregnancies and STDs, I also feel like they’re nothing more than shaming and scare tactics that this society uses to try to control female sexuality.

I feel that men fear and are intimidated by female sexuality. I feel that is the reason why they try so hard to suppress it. I believe they are afraid and intimidated because they feel that women can have a lot of power over them through sex and their sexuality. They try to hide this by pushing the idea that they are superior to women and tell the world it’s okay for them to be with as many women as they want and get praised for it, but if a woman is with more than one man, she’s a “hoe”, “slut”, “bitch”, you name it!

I believe men are happy when they are with multiple women because it makes them feel they have all the sexual power and control, but when a woman has multiple men, it threatens their sexual power and control.

I feel that men tell women to wait for sex and dress so covered up that she shows no skin at all because they are happier and less intimidated with the idea that she’s not having sex (unless it’s with them) and is fully clothed.

There’s an article I found on Huffpost that I will link in this post that mentioned a few theories about why men are so afraid of female sexuality. It said this fear could be hardwired into men because just like in the animal kingdom, men want to perpetuate his own genes. If women are too sexual, they probably won’t be able to do that because she would’ve more than likely been with other men.

Another thing it brought up is that men are afraid of women being unfaithful to them because of the shame that comes with it from society, so they do everything they can to prevent it.

But I believe those theories the least. I believe most all that it has to do with the male ego & men trying to control female sexuality. This could be a lot deeper than what anyone thinks.


Why Are There So Many Books Telling Women How To Find Good Men, But None Telling Men How To Treat Women?

Photo: Wikimedia Commons

When I first heard about Steve Harvey’s book, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, I was actually excited. I liked Steve Harvey. He’s one of my favorite comedians. I was so set on getting that book and reading what he had to say. I just knew it would be funny and full of wisdom.

But after some thinking and reading, I realized, Hmm…why should a woman have to “think like a man” in order to find a good man? Why can’t she just be herself? How come no one ever tells men to “think like a woman” in order to find a good woman?

At that moment, I realized that there are so many books like this telling women how they should think and act in order to attract and keep men. These books basically tell women that if men don’t respect them, it’s somehow their faults. If men sexually harass or rape them, it’s somehow their faults because of how they were acting or dressing. If men cheat on them, it’s somehow their faults because there must have been something they did to drive him away. Maybe her attitude was bad. Maybe she was nagging too much. Maybe she was giving too much sex or not enough. It’s somehow always the woman’s fault when men are caught doing something they aren’t supposed to do to women.

But when we think on the contrary on the side of men, there aren’t as many books telling men how to treat women at all. There aren’t any books telling men how they should think, dress, and act to attract and keep a woman. There aren’t as many books telling men that women aren’t asking for sexual harassment or rape just because of what she was wearing or how she was acting. There aren’t as many books teaching men self control and that being faithful to a woman is what they’re supposed to do. The things men do to women are usually glossed over or justified.

I believe that these books are nothing but sexist brainwashing. Men don’t want to take responsibility when they cross over women. So, they do and say things like this to put all the blame and pressure on women.

Besides, who is Steve Harvey to tell women how they should be to find a good man? How many wives has he gone through? Didn’t he cheat on one of them? He’s not even the man a woman should want anyway. These are the type of men who are writing these books. Men who cheat on women and don’t treat women very well themselves telling women that it’s them. That’s why they write them. They know the problem is themselves, but they don’t want to accept it.

I highly advise women to never read these types of relationship books. They don’t have women’s best interests in mind and they are all used to keep men from being held accountable for how they treat women and make women think it’s all because of them if men mistreat them.

There are tons of women who do exactly what all these books “advise” them to do and men still have a way to disrespect, cheat on, harass or rape them. That’s why women are always surprised when an extremely beautiful woman or a woman who is supposedly good at sex or has everything men claim they want in a woman still gets cheated on or involved in a bad relationship/marriage.

It’s time we start admitting that it’s not always the woman’s fault when these things happen. Men choose to do these things to women and blame women for it when it gets done.

Respect, trust, and how you treat others is and should be a two way street. There should never be anyone saying one side is more accountable for doing things that warrants respect than the other. If women have to be and act a certain way for them to keep men and gain respect from them, then men should be held accountable to do the same.

The fact that we still have to have conversations like this is proof that sexism is still a huge problem here and we still have a long way to go in fixing it. I find it very sad.

Women Tricking Men Into Getting Them Pregnant 

I remember one day seeing a clip from Wendy Williams’ talk show where a woman wanted to have another child after having one child and her husband promised they would have two, but he changed his mind. Wendy told her to go behind the man’s back and trick him into impregnating her. And, of course, she used the “my body, my choice” mantra to back herself up. I can’t stand to see her give advice on her show anymore after seeing that.

This is one of the reasons why I don’t like the “my body, my choice” mantra. In a lot of cases, women use it to prevent being held responsible and accountable in certain situations they know they are wrong in, such as this one.

I’ve heard many stories, not just this one, of women trying to trick men into getting them pregnant for various reasons and various ways. I’ve heard women trick men into getting them pregnant to get them to stay in relationships and marriages, to put them on child support for money, or to simply control them and they do it by lying about being on birth control (like this woman on Wendy’s show wanted to do), sabotaging condoms by poking holes into them without the man’s knowledge, and using the condom during sex, but later inserting the sperm into themselves, amongst other disgusting, evil things.

When it comes to having children, women shouldn’t be the only ones who have a say-so in the matter. A man should have just as much to say as the woman because it takes him for her to get pregnant in the first place! Pregnancy should be something that both the man and the woman should be on the same page about because having a child is a much bigger responsibility than we think and it should take BOTH parents to deal with it and I don’t think a lot of people take it as seriously as they should.

Women tend to forget that men should have an equal say-so when it comes to pregnancy because they feel that since they’re carrying the baby and they give birth to the baby, they should be the only ones to make the decisions about whether or not to have one. It kind of sounds like arrogance to me. The child doesn’t only belong to the woman and the woman never gets pregnant by herself. The child belongs to the man, too. 

Things like this should be illegal and women should be seriously punished for doing something like this. Anybody who thinks this is okay is a very sad and sick individual. And if you have to go behind someone’s back and do something without their knowledge, then you already know that what you’re doing is wrong.

It’s just sad that this society devalues men’s opinions and feelings on pregnancy so much that they allow women to do things like this and even encourage it. 

Tricking men into getting pregnant will open a lot of doors to bad things. It could open doors to trust issues, forced abortions, and abuse (to the woman and the child because a man might be so angry that he will resort to abusing the woman and he might abuse or neglect the child because he didn’t want the child anyway; he shouldn’t do that, but it can happen), amongst other things.

There’s just nothing anybody can say to justify this and make it sound okay and acceptable. It’s not. Any woman who does this or agrees and condones other women to do it should be ashamed!