I remember a conversation my class had back when I was going to high school. A boy said it’s okay for a girl to wait for sex, but if a boy hasn’t had sex by 16 he’s gay. It was such a ridiculous statement because what if every girl actually did wait to have sex? Who would boys have sex with? Other boys? Animals? Sometimes, people don’t realize how ridiculous they sound when they say certain things, especially when they’re so quick to label someome as gay for it.
I remember a post I saw on Facebook of a woman completely fully clothed. No arms showing. No legs showing. I believe even her hair was covered, too. She was dressed in what looked like a long denim dress. The picture was captioned, “You can still be sexy fully clothed”. I like the message of the photo because sometimes, women don’t feel attractive unless they’re dressed very skimpy. But at the same time, it looked weird seeing her with all those clothes on. To me, she looked like she had a disease and they were trying to cover her so it wouldn’t spread! (I know that probably sounds like an exaggeration, but that’s exactly what I felt like what she looked like dressed like that.) It made me think that something was very wrong about how men view women in this society.
I also think about the many television shows and movies I have seen where a girl’s parents or some other male authority figure in the show is breathing down her back about not having sex and trying their best to keep as many boys away from her as possible. But on the same shows and movies, those people are not as hard on the boys about having sex and actually encourage them to get girlfriends at really young ages.
Why is this? Why does this society put so much pressure on women about sex, telling them what age is appropriate for them to have sex, what clothes are appropriate for them to wear, etc., but boys are encouraged to be involved with girls and have sex at really young ages? What does this society have against women and sex? Where does this stigma come from?
Many sources say that girls and women should wait for sex because it can bring about unwanted pregnancies or they can get pregnant by a man who will step out on her and their child. There’s also sources that tell girls and women to wait for sex because of sexually transmitted diseases.
I completely agree with waiting on having sex to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases and to prevent unwanted pregnancies or avoid getting pregnant by a boy or man who will step away from his job as a father. However, I feel like boys and men aren’t told to wait for sex to avoid getting girls and women pregnant at the wrong time or to protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases like girls and women are. Although there’s a little truth in telling women to wait to prevent pregnancies and STDs, I also feel like they’re nothing more than shaming and scare tactics that this society uses to try to control female sexuality.
I feel that men fear and are intimidated by female sexuality. I feel that is the reason why they try so hard to suppress it. I believe they are afraid and intimidated because they feel that women can have a lot of power over them through sex and their sexuality. They try to hide this by pushing the idea that they are superior to women and tell the world it’s okay for them to be with as many women as they want and get praised for it, but if a woman is with more than one man, she’s a “hoe”, “slut”, “bitch”, you name it!
I believe men are happy when they are with multiple women because it makes them feel they have all the sexual power and control, but when a woman has multiple men, it threatens their sexual power and control.
I feel that men tell women to wait for sex and dress so covered up that she shows no skin at all because they are happier and less intimidated with the idea that she’s not having sex (unless it’s with them) and is fully clothed.
There’s an article I found on Huffpost that I will link in this post that mentioned a few theories about why men are so afraid of female sexuality. It said this fear could be hardwired into men because just like in the animal kingdom, men want to perpetuate his own genes. If women are too sexual, they probably won’t be able to do that because she would’ve more than likely been with other men.
Another thing it brought up is that men are afraid of women being unfaithful to them because of the shame that comes with it from society, so they do everything they can to prevent it.
But I believe those theories the least. I believe most all that it has to do with the male ego & men trying to control female sexuality. This could be a lot deeper than what anyone thinks.