I love this interlude, “Tina Taught Me”, from Solange’s album, A Seat At The Table. The instrumental to “Don’t Touch My Hair” playing in the background makes it even better. Solange’s mother, Tina Knowles, spoke a message I couldn’t agree with more if I wanted to. A message full of being proud of being black. She also talks about how here in America, black people are not allowed to express pride in being black and if we do, it is taken as us being anti-white. The truth is white people are anti-black. They hate our culture. They don’t want us to love our culture and try to push their culture on us. They’ve done this for centuries. This is why our original culture(s), language(s), etc., were stripped away from us and replaced with theirs. I believe this is why when we express pride in loving ourselves and our culture, they take it as us not liking their culture. They take us expressing love and pride in ourselves as rejecting their culture that they’re forcing on us.
When the topic of colorism is brought up, many people have knee jerk reactions to deny that discrimination and disrespect due to being dark skinned is the case. This statement, “It’s not because you’re dark skinned; it’s your attitude”, is one of them. I usually hear people saying it to dark skinned women when they talk about colorism.
I see this, as well as many other knee jerk reactions against colorism accusations, as nothing more than excuses. People don’t want to admit to hating dark skin, so they have all kinds of excuses to cover it up. I’ve seen dark skinned people do nothing, but mind their own business and people still treat them rudely. People still call them names that insult their dark skin. So, it’s not just about attitude.
And if dark skin wasn’t an issue and it was just about attitude, why are there people who tell dark skinned women they’re pretty “to be dark”. Why can’t they just be pretty? To tell someone they’re attractive “to be dark” means you think dark skin usually isn’t attractive to you and now you’re shocked because you see an attractive person that’s dark skinned. And let’s not say people say that because of “preference” because no one has ever told a light skinned or mixed woman that they were pretty “to be light”. I’ve heard people say it the other way around, though: “If you’re ugly and you’re light skinned, I feel sorry for you”, “Being light skinned doesn’t automatically make you pretty”, etc. So, with these statements alone, obviously people feel some kind of way about dark skin. And these statements say a lot about how people view dark skin and light skin. What is it saying if people feel like they have to constantly remind everyone that light skin doesn’t automatically make someone pretty or dark skin doesn’t automatically make someone ugly?
Another thing that makes me believe this statement is a load of crap is a lot of times black men this say to dark skinned women, but not much later, you will hear black men talking about how sexy a Latina or other nonblack woman is when they have attitudes. If attitudes are unattractive, why are they only unattractive on dark skinned black women? Why is it attractive on nonblack women?
There is this one video I remember Tommy Sotomayor doing on dark skinned women and their attitudes. I don’t remember the name of it, but I do remember him saying something like overweight dark skinned women who have horrible attitudes should say to themselves, “I already have two strikes against me.” And I’m guessing he meant they should be nicer, but instead, their attitudes are even worst. First of all, what did he mean by this woman already having “two strikes” against her? While he was trying to make it seem like it was just her attitude in this video, he didn’t realize that he just exposed how people will automatically treat her differently, or I should say NEGATIVELY, because of these “two strikes”, which is her being overweight and her being dark skinned. And because she’s overweight and dark skinned, she has to be “nicer” to get people to like her and treat her right.
There was another video I saw from another YouTuber who said that it’s the attitudes of dark skinned women that make men want to get with light skinned women over them. He said that dark skinned women always complaining about how they are over looked for light skinned women is what makes them unattractive and that light skinned women are more attractive because they’re usually “more confident” than dark skinned women.
I feel like what they gloss over is how society usually treats light skinned women a lot better than they treat dark skinned women. Of course they will have more confidence! If society treated light skinned women like they treat dark skinned women, they would act the exact same way.
I don’t know why so many people in our society try to deny such obvious things when it comes to dark skin, but it really has to stop.
This is the thing people always love tiptoeing around when this topic is brought up. This society treats dark skinned people, especially women, like TRASH, especially if they’re overweight! Yet, people still want these people to just roll over and take it with a smile and say nothing about it.
STOP DENYING COLORISM! STOP IGNORING COLORISM! OPEN YOUR EYES AND START BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELVES!
Kanye West said slavery was a choice. Dr. Claude Anderson said slavery was a choice. Tommy Sotomayor said slavery was a choice. So many others said slavery was a choice and a lot of people agreed. But I have to say I heavily disagree. This statement isn’t true in the slightest.
If people read just one history book or article, they will know that there were tons of slave rebellions. There were tons of slaves who killed themselves and their own children rather than living the rest of their lives as slaves. There were tons of slaves who tried to run away. Some were successful. Some were unsuccessful. There were tons of abolitionists who fought to end slavery. Slaves didn’t just sit there and say, “Okay. I’ll be a slave.” They always fought back. It’s just that fighting wasn’t enough to end it. Another thing to take into account, too, is that a lot of slave masters had weapons to use to keep slaves in line. A lot of the slaves didn’t have weapons to protect themselves. Slave masters were doing all kinds of evil things to slaves in front of all the other slaves to keep them in line. They were traumatizing them! Another thing, too, is that the government agreed and passed laws to keep slavery around. The government wasn’t on the slaves’ side at all. I feel like this should be common sense, but for some weird reason, for some people, it isn’t.
Saying “slavery was a choice” kind of sounds like victim blaming to me. It sounds just like saying the millions of people who get robbed all over the world at gunpoint chose to be robbed because they “could’ve fought back”. The millions of men, women, and children who get raped all over the world chose to be raped because they “should’ve fought back”. That’s what that sounds like to me! Blaming the victims instead of the people who are committing the actual crime. It’s sickens me to know that people out here have that type of mentality!
It sounds like people don’t want to blame and hold slave masters accountable for what they’ve done. I think that is a fear and slave mentality right there. People blame the slaves because they are afraid to blame the slave masters. It sounds like black people blaming each other for their situation instead of blaming the obvious culprit(s). They do this out of hate (for themselves and each other), fear, and frustration.
I believe that this slave blaming is the reason why slavery still exists today in lots of other places across the world. No person should have to physically fight to say they don’t want to be a slave. Just like a person shouldn’t have to physically fight to say they don’t want to be robbed or raped. If a person tries to force slavery or crime on a person that doesn’t want it, then THAT person is wrong. NOT the person that got hurt! The slave masters chose slavery, NOT the slaves!
I believe slavery all over the world would be abolished today if everyone held slave masters accountable for what they’re doing and what they’ve done. When we blame the slaves for what happened to them, I think that’s us not taking slavery as seriously as we should.
If anybody thinks slavery was a “choice”, they have no sense of history and don’t understand how slavery works at all.
A week or so ago, a friend of mine told me of the story of Stephon Clark, the 22 year old man who was shot by police in his own grandmother’s backyard because they assumed he was pointing a gun at them, when he was only using a cellphone. They fired 20 shots at this man. 20! Hearing my friend tell me this story broke my heart and made me sick.
An innocent man brutally murdered over absolutely nothing. Him being so young makes it worst. This story makes me think of many other stories I’ve heard of black men being shot by police because they assume they have guns, but they really have nothing. You would think after one case, they would be more careful to avoid incidents like this, but instead, this stuff continues to happen. Why?
Why do we always hear these stories about black men being shot by police over nothing? Why are police always assuming a black man has a gun? Something tells me it’s fear. I’m thinking this type of stuff dates way back in time when white people first encountered black people. I think a lot of white police officers are sorely afraid of black men. I don’t know why. It goes back centuries. Why else have black men been portrayed as threatening and menacing for many years in white media, especially if they’re big in size and height?
Because of this fear, they react in a way they feel that they are protecting themselves and killing the black man before they kill them. These actions are just weird and fear is the only thing that makes sense to me for why these things keep happening.
One thing that I’ve noticed, too, is that usually when we hear these types of stories, dark skinned men are the victims. What is it with white police officers and dark skinned black men? If it’s not fear, what else can it be? I’m really trying to understand.
We can keep making these excuses that we usually make when we hear these stories–the excuses about how it’s “not about race”, “they shouldn’t have ran”, “they should’ve did this or that”, or we can finally open our eyes and see that these stories are ALWAYS about race and something is very wrong with these white police officers.
We’ve heard the stories about many white men shooting up dozens of people in schools and public facilities and still being escorted safely, without even a taze, into custody. But unarmed black men who haven’t committed a single murder get shot dozens of times or get beaten severely or to death when they encounter police. A lot of times, these white people get off and don’t serve any prison time because they’re declared to be “mentally ill” and even have GoFundMe’s set up where they get a lot of money after they were just caught murdering someone.
If an unarmed black man gets killed by police, his past is dug up to try to find dirt on him to justify his murder. A white man can kill nine people in a killing spree and his past is dug up to show he was a “good kid”. He was just “bullied as a child” and had a “horrible childhood”.
If that doesn’t say it’s about race, I don’t know what does.
One growing trend I’m seeing on the Internet more & more is black men and black women blaming each other for the problems in the black community. There are countless social media posts and videos where black men and black women are spewing hate about each other, blaming each other for everything wrong with our race, and getting tons of reactions and views for it.
Black men and black women are blaming each other for the self hate in our communities. Black men say black women are the cause because they’re always wearing straight hair and shame their daughters’ “nappy” hair while doing it and are very quick to straighten it. Black women say black men are the cause because they shame and refuse to date women who don’t straighten their hair and are more attracted to them when they wear weave than their real hair.
Black women say black men shame dark skinned women and refuse to date them. Black men say that black women shamed them for their dark skin and have horrible attitudes towards them, which is why they refuse to date them. And say that black mothers shame their sons by comparing them to their fathers in a very disrespectful manner.
They’re blaming each other for why we don’t have businesses in our communities. Black women say that black men aren’t building and give all of their money to white women. Black men say that black women give all their money to Asians by buying fake hair and nails.
They’re blaming each other for the high single mother rate in the black community. Black men say black women are single mothers because they like thugs and choose poorly in men to have children with. Black women say that it’s because black men are afraid and running away from their responsibilities.
They’re blaming each other for the high crime rate. Black women say it’s because black men are violent and don’t know how to act. Black men say it’s because of black single mothers and how they’re poorly raising young black boys.
There are so many other examples. The sad part about this is that not only are we as black people treating each other as the enemy for our problems and not our true enemies and oppressors, nobody is taking responsibility for these problems. There’s nothing but a bunch of finger pointing. So, what’s going to happen? NOTHING! The problems are going to continue to persist and we will continue blaming each other. It’s not going to do anything but get worst.
Also, we have to be very careful about how we talk about each other publicly. Saying these things about each other and ourselves will leave us wide open to stereotyping. And when it comes time to fight for real justice, our oppressors can use all these things we say about each other against us to deny us the justice we need. For instance, if we get angry about a white person calling a black person a “nigger”, they can use the fact that we call each other and ourselves that against us to get out of trouble. Or if we’re being unfairly treated or abused somewhere and we speak out about it, they will bring up “black on black crime”.
We need to come together, work together to find the root of these problems and fix them ourselves because if we don’t fix them, no one else will.
The fact that we do all this finger pointing is proof that BOTH black men AND black women are doing things to contribute to the problems in the black community. The things that we’re saying that the other side is doing says it all. And one side is NOT more guilty than the other. BOTH sides are EQUALLY guilty.
I really think we do so much negative talking about each other because we hate ourselves and fear our oppressors. I also think we do this because we are frustrated with our problems, but are too afraid to do what we have to do to face and fix them. We take this hate and fear out on each other. We have to stop and start healing.
When we said “Black Lives Matter” because we thought black people were being treated unfairly by law enforcement, what happened? People cried, protested, called us racists and “divisive”, and responded with other movements playing off of it. People came up with All Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, and even White Lives Matter.
Somehow so many people found it so offensive because we said Black Lives Matter. But people made all these adverse movements against ours and no one is protesting theirs. What is this telling us?
Even the silly ones, like “Little Booties Matter”, should raise some concern and not be treated as funny. There’s a reason they’re allowing so many people to say that their things matter, but when we said that we matter, everyone freaks out. Something isn’t right.
Why does us saying Black Lives Matter make so many people so uncomfortable? So uncomfortable to where they feel the need replace to word “black” with anything and it’s okay?