This is a wonderful post I found on challengenormsblog. I think it explains how black people aren’t racist perfectly. America has done so much to black people throughout history and expect us to be completely okay with them. Smh.
I remember one day seeing a clip from Wendy Williams’ talk show where a woman wanted to have another child after having one child and her husband promised they would have two, but he changed his mind. Wendy told her to go behind the man’s back and trick him into impregnating her. And, of course, she used the “my body, my choice” mantra to back herself up. I can’t stand to see her give advice on her show anymore after seeing that.
This is one of the reasons why I don’t like the “my body, my choice” mantra. In a lot of cases, women use it to prevent being held responsible and accountable in certain situations they know they are wrong in, such as this one.
I’ve heard many stories, not just this one, of women trying to trick men into getting them pregnant for various reasons and various ways. I’ve heard women trick men into getting them pregnant to get them to stay in relationships and marriages, to put them on child support for money, or to simply control them and they do it by lying about being on birth control (like this woman on Wendy’s show wanted to do), sabotaging condoms by poking holes into them without the man’s knowledge, and using the condom during sex, but later inserting the sperm into herself, amongst other disgusting, evil things.
When it comes to having children, women shouldn’t be the only ones who have a say-so in the matter. A man should have just as much to say as the woman because it takes him for her to get pregnant in the first place. Pregnancy should be something that both the man and the woman should be on the same page about because having a child is a much bigger responsibility than we think and it should take BOTH parents to deal with it and I don’t think a lot of people take it as seriously as they should.
Women tend to forget that men should have an equal say-so when it comes to pregnancy because they feel that since they’re carrying the baby and they give birth to the baby, they should be the only ones to make the decisions about whether or not to have one. It kind of sounds like arrogance to me. The child doesn’t only belong to the woman and the woman never gets pregnant by herself. The child belongs to the man, too.
Things like this should be illegal and women should be seriously punished for doing something like this. Anybody who thinks this is okay is a very sad and sick individual. And if you have to go behind someone’s back and do something without their knowledge, then you already know that what you’re doing is wrong.
It’s just sad that this society devalues men’s opinions and feelings on pregnancy so much that they allow women to do things like this and even encourage it.
Tricking men into getting pregnant will open a lot of doors to bad things. It could open doors to trust issues, forced abortions, and abuse (to the woman and the child because a man might be so angry that he will resort to abusing the woman and he might abuse or neglect the child because he didn’t want the child anyway; he shouldn’t do that, but it can happen), amongst other things.
There’s just nothing anybody can say to justify this and make it sound okay and acceptable. It’s not. Any woman who does this or agrees and condones other women to do it should be ashamed!
Many people, especially women, think that the best way to deal with someone cheating on them is to cheat on them back. But I feel that not only is that stupid, it’s a serious waste of your time. I know cheating hurts, especially if it’s from someone you truly loved and cared about and never did anything wrong to them, but the best way to deal with that is to either forgive them (if you want to take them back and continue the relationship and try to fix it) or leave and find someone that will be faithful to you and give you the love you deserve.
“Revenge cheating” is stupid and a waste of time because if you do take this person back that cheated on you just to cheat on them, you shouldn’t have taken them back. When you take someone back after doing you wrong, it’s supposed to mean that you forgive them and want to give them another chance. Taking someone back to “revenge cheat” on them won’t solve anything. It’ll just create an endless cycle of cheating because you’ll be cheating on them and they’ll be cheating on you. And seriously, what’s the point in staying in a relationship that’s like that in the first place? That relationship is already dead and clearly neither one of you are trying to get together and fix it. Why are you still there?
And if you can find someone to go cheat on someone with for “revenge”, you’re clearly with someone who also doesn’t really care about you because if they did, you would actually be in a relationship with them or leave the cheater for that person, not just be with them for sex.
And if you go into a new relationship and cheat on that person when they did nothing to you just because the other person cheated on you is even dumber. In your head, you think you’re hurting the person who cheated on you and hurt you by doing that, but in reality, you are only hurting yourself and you’re trying to rid yourself of that hurt by sleeping with other people and all you’re doing is ruining a relationship that was just fine.
I saw an episode of Steve Wilkos years ago where there was a couple on there and the woman said something along the lines of, “I’m the type that if you cheat on me, I will cheat on you a lot.” And the woman went on to tell the story about how her man cheated on her and because of that, she went and slept with numerous men. They continued to stay together, but all they were doing was cheating on each other the whole time. Like, really, how does this make ANY type of sense?!
That segment is what made me think of this post because sadly, people really think this is a justifiable way of dealing with cheating and relationship problems when all it’s doing is making things worst!
There is absolutely NO excuse for cheating. NONE AT ALL! This is why when people try to explain it and soften it up, it never makes sense. Cheating is wrong, whether it’s for revenge or simply just you not being able to control your urges and function properly for a relationship. If your relationship is at the point where you feel like cheating is the answer, you need to end that relationship and FAST!
I know this sounds weird because we’re used to hearing it the other way around: “A man should never put his hands on a woman“, but I’m starting to see more and more women hitting men for reasons that don’t have to involve violence at all and justifying it. That has to stop!
I see on television all the time that they make it acceptable, and even funny, for women to hit men. I’ve seen many episodes of the Bernie Mac Show, for example, which featured Jordan getting hit by girls, whether they were his sisters or other girls elsewhere and the situations were always made to look funny. When it’s boys hitting girls or men hitting women, it’s rarely ever made to look funny or acceptable on TV shows. Because they show girls hitting boys in many TV shows and cartoons that are geared towards children or involve children, it proves that the media starts sending this message that it’s okay for women to hit men when they are children.
I get so tired of watching WWE and seeing a woman get away with slapping a man just because he said something she didn’t like or because she has the power to do anything she wants.
I’ve seen music videos, too, where women were either hitting men or depicting themselves as if they killed a man, like Jhené Aiko’s “The Worst” video or Nicki Minaj’s “Lookin’ Ass Niggas” video, where she’s shooting guns at and around men. There are tons of other TV shows, movies, songs, videos, and many other media sources that send this message that it’s okay for women to hit, throw objects at, use weapons against, and even kill men and get away with it.
We can’t keep saying, “It’s just TV” or “It’s just a movie” whenever we see these things on screen. We don’t realize exactly how powerful messages from the media are in our society. It’s NOT just a movie! It’s NOT just a TV show! It’s NOT just a video! Whether we want to believe or accept it or not, the media shapes a very great deal of our reality in this society, from the way we think to the way we dress.
I’m thinking that the reason why it is shown that it’s okay for women to hit men like this in the first place is due to the history of sexism in this country. I believe there was a time where men abused women and because of the belief that women were “not equal” to men at that time, there was nothing women could do or say about it. But now, in recent times, things have changed and women CAN do and say something about men hitting them and probably see it as payback for all the years men have gotten away with doing it.
Another thing I’m thinking is that women want to feel like they are just as strong or stronger than men because of the upheld belief that men are stronger than women. Women want to prove that wrong. Women are always trying to prove that they can do anything a man can do. If they feel that they can hurt a man by hitting him or beat him up in a fight, it can probably prove to them that they are. But if a man hits them back, it probably reminds them that they’re not, which is where the backlash against the man comes from. I’ve even seen women try to provoke or dare men to hit them. That has to stop as well. If a man hitting a woman is wrong, a woman shouldn’t be trying to provoke or dare a man to hit her. I believe women do that because they know that if men actually do hit them back after doing it that it will be the men who get in trouble or get shamed and not them.
Lots of women think that hitting men because they said something out of the way to them or because they cheated on them are justifiable reasons to get away with it. But when it’s the woman saying something out of the way to a man or it’s the woman cheating on the man, the man can’t go and hit her or destroy her property (that’s another thing women do to men and try to justify it). He is told to “just walk away”. Pretty much telling him to “just deal with it”. If men have to “just walk away” in situations like these, women should do so as well. These are not situations that need to be resolved with violence or property destruction. And since she’s an adult, she should be able to handle her emotions MUCH better than that.
Because of this idea that it’s okay for women to hit men, many of the cases in where the woman is being violent to the man will and have been overlooked and even excused. It is believed that because a man is “stronger” than a woman, he shouldn’t allow her to hit him and should have ways to stop it. If it does happen, then it’s either his fault or he “deserved” it and she was “defending herself”. Men are teased and shamed a lot for getting “beat up by a girl”. They are looked at as “soft” and “weak” if a woman hits them or beats them up. That’s one main reason why we need to stop laughing and making this joke whenever a woman hits a man like it’s funny. It’s NOT funny! And now that I’m thinking about it, that could very well be psychological warfare to make us more complacent with violence against men by women. If we think it’s funny, then we’ll sit back and laugh instead of doing something about it. This upheld belief causes people to not take violence against men by women seriously, which, in turn, causes a lot of cases to go unreported. And unreported cases will make it look like it’s not happening as much or as frequently as it actually is.
We have to stop using this lame excuse that because men are “stronger” than women that it’s okay for women to hit them and get away with it. If we believe men are “stronger” than women, why would we encourage women to fight men anyway? Men being “stronger” than a woman is not a very good reason to justify hitting men at all.
Women shouldn’t hit men unless she is defending herself against men who are physically attacking or trying to harm them. Women shouldn’t hit men and men shouldn’t hit women. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Let’s stop making it one-sided. Instead of saying, “A man should never put his hands on a woman” or “A woman should never put her hands on a man”, let’s say what we were all taught when we first started going to school. And that is, KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF! If we make it one-sided, the other side (in this case, women) will think that the rule doesn’t apply to them. NO ONE should put their hands on ANYONE! Don’t hit someone, then play victim when you get hit back! I’m so sick and tired of people doing that!
Photo: Wikimedia Commons
A lot of people tend to think that having chart topping singles and a boatload of Grammys is the end all, be all for a musician’s success and that if they don’t have any, it must mean their music is bad and they “aren’t working hard enough”. Well, I’m here to say that being #1 on Billboard and winning Grammys doesn’t mean anything.
How many songs have we heard throughout the years that were DOWNRIGHT TERRIBLE, yet they’re still the #1 songs on Billboard, and we can name a million other songs that are way better and deserve that #1 spot much more than those songs; or how many people were nominated for or won Grammys for terrible or mediocre songs when we can name a billion other people who deserve the award more than anybody nominated and they aren’t nominated at all?
Billboard only measures the popularity and sales of a song. And as we all should know, popularity and sales doesn’t always mean a song is good. And the main chart, the Hot 100 or Hot 200, only counts a few hundred songs and albums. There are WAY more songs and albums in the U.S. alone than just a couple hundred. And since the charts can’t fit more than 200 songs or albums, not every song and album can be featured on the charts and definitely not every song or album can be #1 or even in the Top 40. There are millions of songs out there. It’s ridiculous to only believe that the songs on Billboard are the only songs that are good and the only songs that people should listen to.
The Grammys are no different. There’s only so many artists that can be nominated in each category of the Grammys and only one out of all those people can win. As a matter of fact, about only 5 musicians can be nominated in a given category. There are currently 83 categories, and not every musician is qualified in these categories. And when you compare these numbers to exactly how many artists are out here making music, whether we know them or not, we can clearly see that these numbers are not only ridiculously miniscule, it’s unfair! Not everybody can win a Grammy and not everybody can be nominated.
Both the Grammys and the Billboard Hot 100 chart were created in the 1950’s. Both things have only been around for a few decades when music itself has been around for centuries, thousands and thousands of years, even. Why all of sudden does a song or musician need to have either of these before we consider them good?
These things are not given to these people due to their talent alone. I guarantee you that talent is the absolute LAST thing these people think about when it comes to Billboard charting and Grammys. Nobody wins Grammys or have chart topping singles due to their talent alone.
We can listen to songs and artists OURSELVES and form OUR OWN opinions about whether or not they are good. We don’t need Billboard, Grammys, or any other award show to tell us who’s good and who isn’t. They are not and SHOULD NOT be the only things that can measure how good an artist is. Considering the actual history of music, these things can’t even realistically measure it at all (This same rule applies to YouTube views as well because I see people using those to measure an artist’s success).
Having a Grammy or Billboard singles doesn’t mean one artist is better than another. It doesn’t mean one artist “isn’t working hard enough” because they don’t have one. It doesn’t mean an artist is good or bad. It doesn’t mean anything. I really wish people would stop acting like it does.
Photo: Wikimedia Commons
I’m on social media a lot and I see a lot of things on there that people do and say that are really stupid, annoying, and don’t make any sense whatsoever. I really hope to see the day when people will stop saying these things. But here are just six of the most stupid, annoying things I’ve seen people doing and saying on social media.
1. “Hop Out My Mentions”
People are always saying this whenever someone replies to a post or comment of theirs, especially if it’s disagreeing with what they say and it’s someone they “don’t know”. If you don’t want anyone responding to your posts, especially people you don’t know, either make your account private or don’t use social media at all. It’s obviously not for you. (I also think people only say this because they can’t rebuttal against the disagreeing comment any other way, so they use it as an easy cop out.)
2. “This Person Sent Me A Friend Request And I Don’t Even Know Them”
If your account is open to the public, this is what will happen. Anybody can see your profile, including people you don’t know and they CAN send you a friend request. They don’t have to “know you” in order to do so. The solution to this is the same as the solution to the previous one: if you don’t want people you don’t know sending you friend requests, either make your account private, don’t use social media at all, or get used to random people sending you friend requests because it’s going to keep happening.
3. “You’re Defending This Person Like You Know Them”
People usually say this after they say something negative about someone, especially a celebrity, and someone else defends this person against their negativity. So, a person can’t defend someone on social media because they “don’t know” them, but it’s okay for you to say anything you want about someone when you don’t know the person any more than they do? If you think with that logic, you shouldn’t be saying anything at all about anyone yourself! You not knowing someone on social media does not give you the right or a pass to say negative things about them. If you want to say something negative about someone, be ready for the backlash. Don’t dish it if you can’t take it!
4. Blocking Someone Because You Or They Disagree
Blocking is really for harassment or offensive content, but I’ve started to notice more and more people blocking other people simply for disagreeing, which, in my opinion, really screws up the true purpose of the block button. Tons of people use social media and they all have differing opinions on different subjects. Not everyone is going to agree with everything you say. If you say something, chances are, there will always be someone who disagrees. Unless they disagree with disrespect, it’s utterly ridiculous to block someone just because you disagree. You shouldn’t even be on social media at all if you’re going to be like that.
5. “S/he’s Not Paying My Bills”
People usually say this after they say something negative about a celebrity to justify what they just said. I feel like, if someone has to say something like this after they say something about someone else, they already know they’re wrong, which is why they need to make a ridiculous justification such as this so they will feel like they’re in the right. Celebrities don’t know you and don’t owe you even the laces off their shoes! It’s stupid to use this as an excuse to get a pass on saying something negative about them or use it to stop a person from defending them against what you said. Like I said earlier, don’t dish it if you can’t take it! A celebrity doesn’t have to know you or pay your bills for you or someone else to have an opinion about them. A celebrity doesn’t owe you just because you buy or support things of theirs. If you feel like that, stop buying and supporting their things. This includes illegally downloading their stuff. I’m not sure where this sense of celebrity entitlement comes from, but it really needs to be done away with.
6. “My Followers Are So Annoying”
This is probably the dumbest thing people say on social media out of them all because 1) if you can see them on your timeline, that means YOU followed them back! 2) If they’re that annoying, you can easily UNFOLLOW them! It has such a very easy and simple solution that it shouldn’t even need to be said. People say this like they have no control over the people they see on their timelines and like they just magically appear there. If you don’t like someone, UNFOLLOW THEM! I feel like people either just like hearing themselves say this or they’re afraid to unfollow them because their pages will be dry without them (Says a lot more about them than it does their followers).
I feel like people who say and do these things on social media are children because that’s exactly what these things sound like they come from. CHILDREN. (Or old people who don’t understand how social media works.) But sadly enough, they’re most likely from full grown adults who should know better, but don’t. They’re acting like babies! Social media really isn’t for people who say and do things like these and they really ruin the social media experience for everyone else.