Telling People To “Not Respond” To Negativity Just Might Be The Oldest Trick In The Book

(Photo: Flickr)

I’ve always heard people say “Just ignore it”, “Just ignore it”, or “Don’t Let It Bother You”, to other people who are dealing with someone who bothers them or does something negative to them. I used to agree and go along with that advice. But now, I believe it’s just a trick to make people passive.

I think people just want to be able to do bad things to others and not deal with any repercussions or guilt from doing it. I’m not a violent person by any means, but some people deserve to have all the teeth knocked out of their mouths for the things they say and do to other people!

People steal from others. They bully others. They say and do rude things. They spread rumors about others that aren’t even true. And, sometimes, there are people who say and spread around untrue things about people they don’t even know. I think it’s wrong to tell someone to “just ignore” things like this if they’re dealing with it. In a lot of cases, “ignoring it” just makes people do it more because they think you’re giving them the impression that they can get away with it or they just want a response out of you.

Some people are just miserable with their lives and want to screw with other people to make themselves feel better and make other people as miserable as they are. I also believe that some people only tell other people to “not respond” to negativity because the negativity isn’t happening to them and they don’t know exactly how the other person feels about it.

I think it’s weird that people do bad things to others, but if the other people retaliate, they’re looked at as the bad guys for “letting negativity get to them”. People have even made it to where if a person defends themselves against a negative rumor about them, it means that they’re “guilty” of it or it somehow makes the rumor true. What?!? How does things get this twisted?!

I don’t think people should just ignore and hold all that negativity in. I get the feeling that it’s really bad for anyone’s health. I think that causes mental instabilities, insecurities, as well as murders (There’s only so much people can take before they actually snap). I think people should do something about the negativity right there and then. People are wrong as all get out sometimes and need to be told so. It doesn’t always have to resort to violence, though. If it does, then they more than likely deserved it anyway.

I think people should at least be able to tell those people about how that stuff makes them feel, though, if violence isn’t an option. If someone is doing or saying something bad to someone else, the other person should always be able to defend themselves, no matter if it’s verbally or physically. Not roll over and just let them do it and get away with it.

Black Men & Black Women Blaming Each Other For The Problems In Their Community

One growing trend I’m seeing on the Internet more & more is black men and black women blaming each other for the problems in the black community. There are countless social media posts and videos where black men and black women are spewing hate about each other, blaming each other for everything wrong with our race, and getting tons of reactions and views for it.

Black men and black women are blaming each other for the self hate in our communities. Black men say black women are the cause because they’re always wearing straight hair and shame their daughters’ “nappy” hair while doing it and are very quick to straighten it. Black women say black men are the cause because they shame and refuse to date women who don’t straighten their hair and are more attracted to them when they wear weave than their real hair.

Black women say black men shame dark skinned women and refuse to date them. Black men say that black women shamed them for their dark skin and have horrible attitudes towards them, which is why they refuse to date them. And say that black mothers shame their sons by comparing them to their fathers in a very disrespectful manner.

They’re blaming each other for why we don’t have businesses in our communities. Black women say that black men aren’t building and give all of their money to white women. Black men say that black women give all their money to Asians by buying fake hair and nails.

They’re blaming each other for the high single mother rate in the black community. Black men say black women are single mothers because they like thugs and choose poorly in men to have children with. Black women say that it’s because black men are afraid and running away from their responsibilities.

They’re blaming each other for the high crime rate. Black women say it’s because black men are violent and don’t know how to act. Black men say it’s because of black single mothers and how they’re poorly raising young black boys.

There are so many other examples. The sad part about this is that not only are we as black people treating each other as the enemy for our problems and not our true enemies and oppressors, nobody is taking responsibility for these problems. There’s nothing but a bunch of finger pointing. So, what’s going to happen? NOTHING! The problems are going to continue to persist and we will continue blaming each other. It’s not going to do anything but get worst.

Also, we have to be very careful about how we talk about each other publicly. Saying these things about each other and ourselves will leave us wide open to stereotyping. And when it comes time to fight for real justice, our oppressors can use all these things we say about each other against us to deny us the justice we need. For instance, if we get angry about a white person calling a black person a “nigger”, they can use the fact that we call each other and ourselves that against us to get out of trouble. Or if we’re being unfairly treated or abused somewhere and we speak out about it, they will bring up “black on black crime”.

We need to come together, work together to find the root of these problems and fix them ourselves because if we don’t fix them, no one else will.

The fact that we do all this finger pointing is proof that BOTH black men AND black women are doing things to contribute to the problems in the black community. The things that we’re saying that the other side is doing says it all. And one side is NOT more guilty than the other. BOTH sides are EQUALLY guilty.

I really think we do so much negative talking about each other because we hate ourselves and fear our oppressors. I also think we do this because we are frustrated with our problems, but are too afraid to do what we have to do to face and fix them. We take this hate and fear out on each other. We have to stop and start healing.

Everything Matters Except Black Lives

When we said “Black Lives Matter” because we thought black people were being treated unfairly by law enforcement, what happened? People cried, protested, called us racists and “divisive”, and responded with other movements playing off of it. People came up with All Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, and even White Lives Matter.

Somehow so many people found it so offensive because we said Black Lives Matter. But people made all these adverse movements against ours and no one is protesting theirs. What is this telling us?

Even the silly ones, like “Little Booties Matter”, should raise some concern and not be treated as funny. There’s a reason they’re allowing so many people to say that their things matter, but when we said that we matter, everyone freaks out. Something isn’t right.

Why does us saying Black Lives Matter make so many people so uncomfortable? So uncomfortable to where they feel the need replace to word “black” with anything and it’s okay?

Why Are Women Pressured To Wait For Sex, But Men Aren’t?

I remember a conversation my class had back when I was going to high school. A boy said it’s okay for a girl to wait for sex, but if a boy hasn’t had sex by 16 he’s gay. It was such a ridiculous statement because what if every girl actually did wait to have sex? Who would boys have sex with? Other boys? Animals? Sometimes, people don’t realize how ridiculous they sound when they say certain things, especially when they’re so quick to label someome as gay for it.

I remember a post I saw on Facebook of a woman completely fully clothed. No arms showing. No legs showing. I believe even her hair was covered, too. She was dressed in what looked like a long denim dress. The picture was captioned, “You can still be sexy fully clothed”. I like the message of the photo because sometimes, women don’t feel attractive unless they’re dressed very skimpy. But at the same time, it looked weird seeing her with all those clothes on. To me, she looked like she had a disease and they were trying to cover her so it wouldn’t spread! (I know that probably sounds like an exaggeration, but that’s exactly what I felt like what she looked like dressed like that.) It made me think that something was very wrong about how men view women in this society.

I also think about the many television shows and movies I have seen where a girl’s parents or some other male authority figure in the show is breathing down her back about not having sex and trying their best to keep as many boys away from her as possible. But on the same shows and movies, those people are not as hard on the boys about having sex and actually encourage them to get girlfriends at really young ages.

Why is this? Why does this society put so much pressure on women about sex, telling them what age is appropriate for them to have sex, what clothes are appropriate for them to wear, etc., but boys are encouraged to be involved with girls and have sex at really young ages? What does this society have against women and sex? Where does this stigma come from?

Many sources say that girls and women should wait for sex because it can bring about unwanted pregnancies or they can get pregnant by a man who will step out on her and their child. There’s also sources that tell girls and women to wait for sex because of sexually transmitted diseases.

I completely agree with waiting on having sex to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases and to prevent unwanted pregnancies or avoid getting pregnant by a boy or man who will step away from his job as a father. However, I feel like boys and men aren’t told to wait for sex to avoid getting girls and women pregnant at the wrong time or to protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases like girls and women are. Although there’s a little truth in telling women to wait to prevent pregnancies and STDs, I also feel like they’re nothing more than shaming and scare tactics that this society uses to try to control female sexuality.

I feel that men fear and are intimidated by female sexuality. I feel that is the reason why they try so hard to suppress it. I believe they are afraid and intimidated because they feel that women can have a lot of power over them through sex and their sexuality. They try to hide this by pushing the idea that they are superior to women and tell the world it’s okay for them to be with as many women as they want and get praised for it, but if a woman is with more than one man, she’s a “hoe”, “slut”, “bitch”, you name it!

I believe men are happy when they are with multiple women because it makes them feel they have all the sexual power and control, but when a woman has multiple men, it threatens their sexual power and control.

I feel that men tell women to wait for sex and dress so covered up that she shows no skin at all because they are happier and less intimidated with the idea that she’s not having sex (unless it’s with them) and is fully clothed.

There’s an article I found on Huffpost that I will link in this post that mentioned a few theories about why men are so afraid of female sexuality. It said this fear could be hardwired into men because just like in the animal kingdom, men want to perpetuate his own genes. If women are too sexual, they probably won’t be able to do that because she would’ve more than likely been with other men.

Another thing it brought up is that men are afraid of women being unfaithful to them because of the shame that comes with it from society, so they do everything they can to prevent it.

But I believe those theories the least. I believe most all that it has to do with the male ego & men trying to control female sexuality. This could be a lot deeper than what anyone thinks.

https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/1289564

Azealia Banks Blames Black Men For Why Bodak Yellow Went #1

I’m sorry. Black industry men are too hype for this Latina girl. I’ve never seen them jump like this for Remy or Nicki. Spinning this ‘for the culture’ story when they are simply letting white men at Atlantic buy them into hating their own women… I wanted spicy Latina and she gave me poor mans Nicki. Charlamagne and black men in Hip-Hop should have gotten me, Remy AND Nicki a number one before they gave Cardi or Iggy one. But literally white guys buy black men away from black women and it’s soo cringe.

The moment Bodak Yellow by Cardi B topped the Billboard chart at #1, Azealia Banks responded with this post on her social media. I first saw it on a video by a YouTuber named Chrissie and she was addressing what she said.

At first glance, I thought it sounded like she was telling the truth. But now that I think about it, she really is trying to throw black men under the bus because Cardi B got a #1 Billboard song and not a black female rapper. She’s basically saying it’s black men’s fault Bodak Yellow went #1 on Billboard before a black female rapper did. It’s ridiculous, laughable, and disgusting.

At first, I thought Azealia Banks was a woman who’s just misunderstood and people just hated her because it’s cool and popular. After that B.S. I see now that the people are right. I don’t think anybody should take anything she says seriously at this point. And I feel bad for writing this because I really tried to give her a chance. I listened to a few of her songs and even though they weren’t my cup of tea, I still thought she had a great singing voice and was very good at rapping. But now, I think the things she says and does completely overshadows her talent. It’s sad that she’s known more for her antics and the crazy things she says when she really has talent. It’s a shame!

And I’m starting to believe that this is going to be a pattern for her. Whenever there’s a light skinned or nonblack female rapper who makes it to #1, she will always try to express this psuedo problack, anti-black man drivel that makes it look as if she’s speaking up for black women or black issues when she’s really just spilling her insecurities and hate for black men everywhere. She pulled this stunt with Iggy Azalea first. Now, she’s doing it with Cardi B. At this rate, I can almost guarantee that she will do this to the next person like them.

Getting deeper into why I think her comments are wrong, first of all, is blaming black men for Bodak Yellow being #1 is definitely misguided because 1) the music industry is basically white owned. White men own all or most of the major record labels. They control these artists and they choose what is hot and what songs should be pushed and promoted to be hits. 2) Cardi B’s biggest supporters are black women, not black men. She has way more black female fans than black male fans. When I skim through the comments under her videos and social media, most of the supportive comments are from black women. Black women are the main ones who like Bodak Yellow and are showing themselves on videos dancing to it or whatever. So, she needs to guide her comments to the white owned record industry and black women. (Don’t get me wrong. I don’t see anything wrong with supporting Cardi B. If you like Cardi B and Bodak Yellow, by all means continue to like it. I’m not antagonizing anyone who does, just to make things clear. I’m only showing that black men aren’t the reason for why it’s #1 and she shouldn’t try to jab them in the eye for it.) And Iggy Azalea went to #1 NOT because of black men, but because of the white owned industry and her white fan base. Black men do not care for Iggy Azalea like she thinks they do and they never did.

Her saying black men were more hype for Cardi B and showing her more love than they ever did for Nicki Minaj or Remy Ma is also wrong. I remember when Nicki Minaj first started to become popular in the Hip-Hop scene. Tons of black men were fascinated with her. Maybe not because of her music, but definitely because of her looks. Black men were always raging over how she looked and a lot of them still do today and have done for her way more than Cardi B. And Remy Ma may not be as popular as Nicki or Cardi B mainstream wise, but many black men have complimented her rap skills and listen to her and do so more than they do with Cardi B. So, that’s just extremely false. I feel like she just said this because Cardi B isn’t black.

But I do agree with her basically saying black female rappers are typically overlooked. There are tons of beautiful black female rappers who are amazing rappers, but they don’t get to be #1 on Billboard or popular at all and are always pushed aside for light skinned or nonblack women. But again, I don’t blame black men for this. I blame the music industry. The industry doesn’t look at talent and we can tell just by listening to most popular songs on the radio today.

There’s enough anti-black man stuff on the Internet and a lot of it isn’t even necessary. This just adds on to it. Her post looked as if she viewed black men as the enemy for Cardi B having a #1 hit song and probably wants other black women to view them the same. Her post came off as bitter and ridiculous to me. It also showed me she’s just a bedwench.

What makes this worst is that many black women will believe her and hate black men for this because it’s in to throw black men under the bus now and blame them for everything bad. It’a pretty toxic way to think if you ask me.

Is Money Really The Root Of All Evil?

I’ve heard the old saying that money is the root of all evil all my life. In a way, I kind of think it is and isn’t. For starters, I think it isn’t because it is what people do for money that makes it evil. The love of money and greed is what’s evil.

People are willing to lie, cheat, steal, kill innocent people or even children for money. People sell out their own family members and friends for money. People are willing to compromise their self respect and do unethical things or things they wouldn’t normally do for money. People even look down on other people who don’t have as much money.

Lots of people let money change and control them. It makes them arrogant and maybe even stupid in a lot of ways.

On the flipside, it is because having little to no money causes a lot of stress and pain to a lot of people because they can’t afford to pay for the basic things they need to live; clothes, food, houses, bills, maybe a car to get to wherever they want to go, take care of their children or other people they have to take care of, etc.

Not having money causes people to become very depressed, stressed, and even suicidal. And it can cause them to do bad things out of desperation.

In a lot of ways, I believe money was invented for control and power. I know there’s someone or maybe even numerous people who want to control mass amounts of people and control what they do and how they live and money is a great way to do that.

I believe that there is no use for money in the world because everything was created just for us for free and we fight and kill ourselves and each other for things that we should all be free to have. No one should have the right to put a price on something they don’t own and didn’t create themselves.

But then again, I’ve read from different sources about why money was created. One thing I read said it was to compensate for the shortcomings of the barter system. Before there was money, people traded for what they wanted and sometimes, people didn’t always agree with what someone wanted to trade them. And if someone didn’t agree with what someone else wanted to trade them, they wouldn’t be able to get what they needed or wanted.

But what about the shortcomings of the monetary system where people can’t afford to buy certain things?

Another said that money was created to ration out things better. If everything was free, people would consume things very quickly due to greed and self-centeredness and there would be a scarcity in many things.

And another said money was created to motivate people to do work. If there was no money, people wouldn’t put in the effort or put in very little to do certain things. People wouldn’t want to build or anything. With money, people have a reason to get things done, thus creating a productive society.

Although I do believe these other reasons make a lot of sense, I still believe that money was created for control and power most of all. People have wanted to have power and control over other people for ages.

I don’t think money is really supposed to exist, which is why it causes so much evil and problems. Money has no real value. It isn’t really backed by anything. It only has value because the government says so.

Why Don’t Black People Shop Black Owned?

There’s many theories about why more black people don’t support black owned businesses. You would think that more black people would shop where their people own the stores and create the products/services, but unfortunately, many do not. Why is this?

I have two main reasons for why I believe this is. The first reason is price. I know how important it is for black people to support their own businesses, so I went searching for some black owned businesses online to shop one day. I have to admit many of the prices at black owned businesses are ridiculous, I’m sorry to say. When other people point out how high the pricing is at a lot of black owned businesses, people love using stereotypical deflecting and shaming tactics, like “You people complain about these prices, but love buying iPhones and Jordans” or “Black people need to stop being so cheap!”, instead of acknowledging and admitting that the prices are a problem and we need to get together and find a solution for it.

If we don’t admit that the prices are a problem, nothing is going to get done about it. The first step in solving a problem is acknowledging and admitting that there is one.

I know the businesses in this society are built on a supply and demand basis, so I know a lot of black business prices are high not because they want them to be, but because the demand for their products and services aren’t as high as it is at other places, being that it is a smaller business. So, since the demand is lower, the prices are higher. The only way we can fix this is if more of us start supporting them, but I know it’s hard for many people to shop at a store where the prices are out of reach to them.

People want to complain about how black people would rather shop at the Walmarts and Targets of the world than black owned businesses, but what they always conveniently fail to tell you is that at Walmart and Target, you can pretty much get anything you want at a good price there. Unfortunately, we can’t do that with many black businesses. People go where they can stretch their dollars and get the most things for their budget. And that isn’t just black thing. ALL races of people do that.

The next reason I have is location or availability. In many neighborhoods across America, black businesses are few and far in between. Many people have to go a little (or a lot) out of their way to get to a black business. Sadly enough, other races of people have more businesses in our neighborhoods than we do. So, people go to the businesses that are closest to them, where they don’t have to walk or drive too far out of their way. And again, that isn’t just black thing. All kinds of people shop at places that are near them.

In my opinion, a lot of black businesses are unfortunately inconvenient to many black people. In order for more black people to support other black businesses, I think we have to have our businesses give the convenience (if not MORE convenience) that other businesses give.

I don’t believe black people shop at every other store because they don’t want to support their own people, like I’ve heard some people say. I believe they shop at every other store because every other store is more convenient for them.

Many of us love repeating that statistic about how long a dollar circulates and changes hands in other communities compared to ours, but we always tiptoe around why that is.

I think on this subject we do way too much dancing around the pink elephant in the room. And that pink elephant is that we are VERY FAR behind other races when it comes to business. The only way we’re going to catch up is if more of us start realizing how important it is that we need businesses and need to create and control our own resources.

There’s no reason for every other race of people to have more businesses in our neighborhoods than we do, especially since it’s not like that in their neighborhoods. We don’t own a bunch of businesses in their neighborhoods. They own their own. It’s been way past due for us to do the same.

There’s a video I stumbled across by a YouTuber named Chrissie, who has a video speaking about why black people don’t shop at black owned businesses, which I have included in this post, and she said pretty much the same thing I’m saying now, but one interesting thing she said that I didn’t think about is that a lot of times, we resent products and services that are made specifically for us.

We hate when other races of people don’t include us in their ads or whatever, but when it’s something created just for us, we hate that it doesn’t include others. We think it’s racist. We’re so stuck on inclusivity, including everybody else into whatever we have, that a lot of us are not ready to accept a business that caters strictly to us.

That’s one thing we have to get out of as well. I don’t think we fully understand that people are supposed to cater to their own people. When they make a product or service, they’re usually not making it to cater to other people, even though they don’t discriminate against who can buy the product. That’s what we need to start realizing. We need to start realizing that nobody is supposed to build and cater to us BUT US!